Thursday, December 31, 2009
I tried to think of the experiences that I went through in 2009 and decided that it was too emotional /dark to share in a way that my readers would appreciate. 2009 was not my best year, but it wasn't my worst year either. It was an emotional and mental roller coaster ride of epic proportions. Filled with highs and lows that are bound to change me for the better, in ways that I look forward to.
So instead of putting together my own list of lessons learned, I compiled a list from others. Friends and family and a couple of my own. I am thankful to those folks that participated in my little survey, it was a lot more interesting than my own.
9 Lessons learned/Realized in '09
#1 " I learned that finding a job ain't easy "- A.B.
#2 " Debt is a burden and a distraction, and rekindling old friendships make you realize how awesome friends can be" - N.H.
#3 " I learned that trying new and different things aren't as hard as you think once you make the first step toward it." - E.B.
#4 " True friends are REALLY true friends, the rest are just posers." - S.H.
#5 " Just because someone is talking to you about their problems doesn't mean they want help. Sometimes people just need to vent" - V.B.
#6 " Do what you believe and don't worry about other peoples oppinions! " - E.C.
#7 " Depression is real and can effect anyone, don't wait until it is too late to get help" - S.H.
#8 "Money doesn't always make you happy. It's essential but not worth sacrificing friends and family. Living simple will make you happy." - L.B.
#9 "This economy sucks!" - D.S.
So, that was what we learned in '09, could you relate? I'm wondering what lessons we will be blessed to learn in 2010?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Here is a link to the pictures that was taken of our enlightening day; http://picasaweb.google.com/marloherring/McDs_Bloggers?feat=email#
*To read more about doing simple acts read this great book by Debbie Macombes, One simple act.*
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
That should be the end of it right? Well this how things began in a Harper Woods, Detroit area Target. However it wasn't a nice ending. Mary Martinez and her husband Jose was told to leave the store by security because the act of breastfeading was against the law. Jose , who is a Detroit police officer refuted this allegation but it was not enough. The couple were escorted out of the store by the Police.
What a shame! Breastfeeding is one of the most natural acts of love and care beween a mother and her infant. Who should think it a crime? I have been in that womans shoes, it is not easy. I breastfed both of my babies. Sometimes not in the most desirous places, But I did what was very necessary, DISCREETLY of course. Is a mother to be blamed or even punished because there are not enough facilities created in public restrooms that cater to mothers. Trust me, No One wants to stand up nursing a crying baby in an aisle. But it sure beats standing in a stinky bathroom with no where to sit besides a germ infested toilet. Yuck!
Breastfeeding is not nasty, or pornographic and people should not feel as though they have to "protect" themselves. Come on people! There are more important things to "protect" ourselves and children from. So, if you happen to go down the aisle and see a woman nursing DISCREETLY, don't be disgusted. Show respect, turn your head and have empathy. She's doing what she has to do for her child. There are parents doing far worse things to their children in stores. Report a real crime...Breastfeeding isn't one of them.
So naturally our curiosity was peaked. Of course, our children each owned a Zhu Zhu pet and we had given some as gifts to friends and family. We needed to see what this was all about. We read the article and basically felt that what was written by Good Guide regarding the pets containing a deadly metal called antimony was not enough to make me throw it out. Not yet. I decided to Wait it out, hear both sides of the story BEFORE formulating my oppinion. Therefore I can make an Informed decision as to what to do with Mr. Squiggles.
As it turned out, the toxicity accusations were false. Mr. Squiggles is completely safe. The U.S. Toy Industry criticised Good Guide for their reliance on XRF readings. Obviously there is a more complex procedure to follow in order to make an accurate conclusion. I was pleased to read the statement released by Cepia LLC regarding the beloved Zhu Zhu pets: " Our products not only meet but exceed all safety testing...we are a family owned business and always test to the most rigorous standards."
With that said, parents should rest a little easier knowing that Mr. Squiggles, Pipsqueak,NumNum, Chunk & Patches are not really disease carrying rodents. They are still the cute, cuddly motorized pets that children adore and parents like better than a REAL hampster. Currently, in stores there is even more variety, because four new pets have been released. Check your local Walmart or other retail store for the newest additions: Winkie, Jitty, Nuggut and Scoodles. Each one with it's own Bio.
So let this be a lesson, Dont jump on the bandwagon without all the facts. I have a feeling that plenty of good pets were thrown in the dumpster that Sunday morning...destroyed without even having a fair trial.
For more information go to www.zhuzhupets.com
*As a promoton for the new toys several months ago, I was provided with the pets to share with family and firends. However, the statements made in this post are srictly my own non-biased oppinion*
Thursday, December 10, 2009
This week I have a multitude of laundry scattered and stacked all over the place, although clean I may add. My husband does not seem to highly value the efficiency of putting the clothes away. My children's rooms are a complete disaster, & my dog is running a muck. My Hubby still gives me kisses, but my pillows have gone flat. My son still brews my coffee alongside my daughter who preps my breakfast. However, the hour that I have to wait for it, makes eating the cold meal less than desirable. I continue to eat my favorite snacks for comfort, which leads me fearful wondering if my designer jeans will fit later on.
Sigh! One more week to go. Will I make it? And if I do, will all my rest be in vain because of the exhausting work I may have to do to get my house back in order?
Any suggestions? Better yet...any volunteers?
Monday, December 7, 2009
As an african american woman I face challenges in marriage, parenting, & education among others that are not the same as all of my professional or personal peers. Which is why I am happy to know that there is a new blogsite being launched today which focuses on the issues that matter the most to me. Discussed in a way that is most familiar to me. www.momsofhue.com
Moms of Hue is a collaborated site created by Renee J. Ross of www.cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com and Kristina of www.momontherise.com . These ladies are mothers, wives and entrepreneurs using their voices and skills to make a difference for all women of color. Please stop by the new site today, as today is it's official launch. Follow them on twitter @momsofhue and get invovled with their twitter party to celebrate their offical site launch. Prizes will be given away, so come on and join in the fun!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
As much as I enjoy being a receiver, I also like to be the giver of gifts. There is 100% truth in the memorable phrase "more happness in giving than receiving." I especially find joy in watching a person's facial expression as they are viewing their gift for the first time. Priceless.
It is my oppinion however, that the best gifts are the hand made or ones that have a personal touch. While in recovery I have been given several gifts. Each one meaningful in it's own way. Friends and family have given me homemade soups, made a pan of my favorite dish, babysitting, even some house cleaning. SO cool, I know.
But the one gift that goes to the top of my list is my B.G. Goody bag. aka the broke girlfriends goody bag. Hilariously sweet and good hearted. My bf came over and brought this to me. Obviously it is easy on the purse. But it was the personal touch and thoughtfulness that shot it to the top of my list. My B.G. Goody bag was full of things that I love. DVD's for me to watch, taken from her personal collection. All the great ones that I love. Two great novels, along with a variety of herbal teas and a new journal for my writing pleasure. She had to put some thought into what I liked in order to create a gift with such a personal touch. It meant so much to me. Simple yet personal, Hmmmmm... warm fuzzies.
The next time you have the privelege of bringing someone a gift, make it personal. Give it your special touch, it makes the biggest impression.
Here are a few tips:
* type or write a poem of your own or from a favorite poet. Apply it to nice paper and put it in a frame.
* Create your own bottle of body oil and spritzer complete with a personalized label.
* find websites that specialize in personal gifts, such as www.personalcreations.com or www.lillianvernon.com
*have fun, use your imagination.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
In the a.m. my son brews my coffee just the way I like, while my daughter places frozen waffles in the toaster and cooks my bacon not too crispy. My Hubby comes home from work in the p.m., does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, puts dinner on and brings it to my bedside with a smile and a kiss. "Do you need anything else?" Once I have completed our homeschooling lessons for the day, my only care is: which of my favorite movies do I want to watch? Catching up on t.v. reruns, reading great books & journaling. At the end of the night my sheets get retucked, pillows are fluffed and comforter is smoothed out.
A sistah can get used to this. I wonder if I can get a Doctor's note for an extension on my recovery time? This is like the best staycation I ever had! Too bad I had to lose a body organ to experience it.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
So imagine my shock when he approached me with his new idea. He might as well have handed me a pink slip, because I 'sho felt like I was fired! After I was done pouting, he assured me that the changes aren't "personal"...*insert eye roll*. He said it was apart of his growth and maturity as a man. Wow.
I continued to dwell on the heartfelt words he spoke to me & concluded that this may not be such a bad idea after all. I've heard the phrase "how you view a situation is how you react to it. " Perhaps I had a blurred view of the situation. I realized that in my own way I linked my responsibility of the finances with control. It's no wonder then, why I felt dethroned as he is reaching for greater responsibility. I began to view this new change in a positive light. Realizing that it could be a good thing.
I reminded myself that marraige is a partnership and no one should be in control of the other and certainly no one should be a servant. Good marraiges blossom under communication, cooperation and encouragement. There should be a balance.
Women (myself included) are often heard complaining about the irresponsibility in men. Wishing that a man would be a "real man". However, in some cases is it possible that today's modern women are actually preventing this ? For years, fighting for equal rights. Proving more and more that she can do the same jobs as he, and even better. I feel that this causes some men to sit back, leaving them unsure of how to fullfill their roles. Not wanting to appear non-progressive. Women want men to be men traditionally, but often try to controll the areas that they can do it.
Now I am aware that this not the case in every situation. Realisticly there are many women playing dual roles because they have to. So when a man who can and is willing to carry a heavier load gets involved , the woman continue to tightly hold the reigns. Because it may feel almost unnatural. This is the category that I find myself in. I come from a family, who for generations have been held together by women due to a lack of positive male headship. I've always seen women in charge, even in the presence of a man. These were unspoken lessons being taught, indeed.
As I reflect on the past I do not want to continue on in the pattern of the women before me. Carrying an unbalanced load, doing it all. As long as I have some one willing to share more of the responsibility I certainly don't need to block it. Marraige is about trust, not only in monagomy but also in money.
I've lived the first 16 years of my marraige with some control issues. For the next 16 I plan on letting them go. I'll admit there will be some bumpy roads ahead, but I'm looking forward to a great learning experience. I am offering up prayers as I type this...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Today, I will be experiencing a seperation of my own. Today, I will be detached from something that is very much apart of myself...my uterus. Although we have been together fo 37 years, through thick and thin. Good times and bad, it is time to say goodbye. As I reminice over our time together I can recall the feelings of fear as It gave it's evidance of maturity at the ripe age of 13. Oh! the merciless and seemingly endless displays of affection that was shown to me by way of cramps, bloating and back ache. My uterus was so gracious and givng. Every month it would surprise me with an overflow that was beyond measure, often on days that I least expected..:(
The best gift I have recieved from it though, is it's ability to carry and nurture my two unborn children. For nine months it provided a warm and safe place for them to grow. Providng me with a gift beyond compare.
So as one can see, my uterus has been both a negative and positive force in my life. With the negative being it's most dominant trait. It's no wonder then, after the doctors evaluation I felt no sadness. His conclusion and solution of the matter was to have a partial hysterectomy. A little snip, clip, and pull and it will be no more. How do I feel? ...hallelujah! Hit the road jack! Buh-bye and sianara! Each day on recovery is another celebration, which is even easier to do when I have a bottle full of percocet. I'm never tardy for the party!
Goodbye, dear uterus. Breaking up is so hard to do...NOT!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It seems that nothing escapes their vivid imaginations. Early on, parents are checking under the beds, peeping in closets and closing blinds to keep out the unwanted creepy things.
However as time rolls on I'm learning that a child's imagination is triggered not only by what is on T.V. . It is also stimulated by the words that come out of mom and dad's mouth. Innocently, I do not hide very much of my life from my children. I have been known to talk very casually in their presence regarding various opportunities, experiences or issues. Mind you, I live a clean life. So, much of what I have spoken of is nothing that causes shame, or what I personally considered innappropriate. Let's be clear...
However i've recently learned through an experience that regardless of how innocent, adults talking without proper discernment in front of little ones is not the best Idea. Primarily because children do not properly percieve adult concepts. Many words, phrases and situations can be misinterpreted and cause needless anxiety or insecurity.
I was approached by an older family friend about my unscrupulous talking within the children's earshot. I'll admit, I quickly blew it off. But later on I pondered over it. I REALLY thought about the true implications, the consequences of what this dear friend made me aware of.
So, in a divided effort to prove her wrong and soothe my ego, I had a very frank conversation with the children. I thought to myself, "my kids arent like that, they don't misunderstand what I say." The conclusion? The wise woman proved true! Now I know SOME may read this and think "well, DUH!" ....what can i say? It was a lesson learned, allbeit the hard way. We live in a free country and have the gift of free will. However freedom of speech is relative.
There is definately wisdom in "Big mama 'nems" words: "this is grown folks business...when grown folks are talkin' children need to get walkin'. "
I Get the point now.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
I figured since I have so much down time at home these days, I will take advantage of it and catch up on the things I have been putting off. Perhaps doing more reading, spend more quality time with the family, getting organized and getting more sleep. Yeah, the sleep has been nice. Since I have not had Internet access, I am going to bed at a decent time...hubby loves that!
This situation is also forcing me to do things the way I used to before I found out about blogging. Journaling, I used to journal and have been since high school days. However I have gotten away from it and this is a perfect time to get back into the groove. It should make things easier for me too, when I come to the library. I can just bring my journal and type in my newest blog posts thereby saving myself some time.
so, that's all for now. I'll be back with a new post on Wednesday...I have so much that I want to share with you all.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Well, I no longer have to wonder.
With three...yes, three computers in my house down at the same time. Each attacked by some cruel and heartless virus (even though I have virus protection on each computer). I now know what it is like.
This is so unfair.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Recently I was told that I was making myself a victim because I chose to discuss a situation that hurt me deeply. I had the impression that my choice to express myself gave the other person the perception of weakness. How untrue that perception is. In fact, it is because I try to think through various issues, getting to the root of them that I am NOT a victim. Of any given serious situation which involves me. In fact I consider myself a survivor, because I fight everyday to push myself ahead. Doing what I do in spite of my trials. Going through my thoughts, I was reminded of that song ; Survivor, by Destiny's Child. How appropriate to post it up here today. It goes right along with my feelings.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
So I was excited to see that she had gotten her own late night talk show on BET . The sistah's are doing their thing, with the talk shows these days. We have Wendy Williams in the a.m., Tyra and Oprah in the afternoons and now Mo'nique late nights. How great is that!? The talk show business is getting it's swirl on!
I've eagerly watched the first couple of weeks episodes, cheering her on for coming this far. Her guest line up is refreshing, because she looks for the people and stories that are inspiring. She is all about giving people a chance to shine. I really was touched by her interview of the Ohio Wrestlers, two boys winning against the odds. Her interview of the cast from ABC FAMILY Lincoln Heights , was sweet and encouraging too. She appears to be so full of love, happiness and gratitude that you can't help but to feel it too and it is this exuberance that keeps me coming back.
Now, I'm all about the love too but I still have to keep it real for a minute. Monique's show would be even better if she would just. stop. screaming. From the time she steps off the elevator, throughout the interviews and all, she is talking at the top of her voice. Whew! Some nights I just turn the volume down, because at that time of the night I am winding down. But I'm not giving up on her, I'm going to continue to keep giving her the support in doing her thing. After all she does have a good show and it's better to support a good show than to keep putting up with the thousands of crappy ones out there.....Even if i do have to take an aspirin for my headache after her show.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
During lunch, which was hosted by Disney ( totally scrumptious) we were able to listen to the toe tapping soundtrack and view a few clips of the new movie The Princess and The Frog, featuring the first African American princess, Tianna. A wonderful story about a young woman of color who dreamed of owning her own business.We watched and were inspired to live our dreams and realize the inner princess inside us all. I listened to and laughed with our Keynote speaker: Karen Walrond, who encouraged us to be beautifully different. I had so much to ponder over. So many possibilities, if only I would reach out for them. It is all at my fingertips...
To really drive home the point, we were all invited to a late night Princess party sponsored by the Blogrollers . And what a party it was! I stepped off the elevator and Bippitybopppityboo! I was transformed. I put on my tiara, my princess ring, grabbed my glass of champagne and thanks to the two DJ's, I danced the night away to my favorite jams. Overlooking a spectacular view of beautiful Hot'lanta under the sparkling city lights. It was refreshing to be among professional women, who did not let their titles hold them back from cuttin' a rug! It truly felt like a celebration.
Every woman there was called a princess and how special it was to feel that they really meant it. They said I was a princess and with the Royal treatment I received, I believed it.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
To win this giveaway you must do two things.
- Become a follower of my blog : I'm the Mommy I'll Blog if I want to
- Leave a comment telling me one way that you give a loving gift to your friends and family.
*The giveaway ends on 10/02*
* the winner will be seleted and announced on my blogpost.*
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Whew! Glad to see I'm not the only one!
My dilemma began on Tuesday night.
Hubby- "are you driving on E? You really shouldn't do that"
Stubborn wife(THAT'S ME)- "oh, well, it'll be alright. The gas light should come on and tell me when I've gone too far right?"
Hubby- "um, maybe. you never know. what if it stops working. This is dangerous. You should always keep a good amount of gas in the car. You wont like to be stuck somewhere"
Stubborn wife- "I'm not worried, I'll get it tomorrow on my way out"
Wednesday, Mid morning, while schooling the kids I realized rather abruptly that there was an important matter that I needed to take care of. In haste I run out of the door...grab the keys...Grab the purse...Run out the door...jump in the car...crank up and pull out of the drive way...
(oh no, not today!)
e-e-e-e-aaaa- e-e-e-e-aaaaaa! stupid car wont crank. I pump and pump the pedals to no avail. I try to do everything from "kick starting the car to getting a push from the kids.(yes, i had my kids pushing) We finally decided to get a gas can from the garage which had gasoline in it and pour it in. Oh hurray! we are on our way. The car cranks and we take off and then SCREEEECH! WHOMP! The car cuts off after moving about 3 feet.
OH WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN? WHHHYYYYYYY?!
I called a friend for a ride to run my errand and fill my gas can. Just shortly after this fiasco, I had to go back out. Frustration. Fear. Embarrassment. We put-put-ted, sputtered, cut-off, jumped & jerked all the way to our destination.
Reluctantly I called the hubby and gave him the 4-1-1.
I'll let you use your imagination as to how that conversation went.
You don't need a RECAP from me...
Hmph!**arms folded, eyes rollin'**
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
One of the Attachable accessories that the pets can play on. A ramp and twisty slide.It actually goes up the ramp and down the slide on it's own.
A activity center / habitat for the pets
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A bouquet of Flowers that was given to me a couple of weeks ago.
I took a picture of these two items because looking at it made me feel happy. Feeling happy about this bouquet inspired other happy thoughts and so one happy thought turned into another and another. So I came up with ten things that made me happy.
- A lovely bouquet of flowers, given to me unexpectedly.
- A well balanced check book.
- A Freshly made bed, with 600 thread count linens.
- A Picnic in the park.
- To be wrapped in a warm embrace by the luvofmylife.
- Watching my children sleep peacefully in their own beds.
- Sharing happy memories of times past with my family.
- A hot cup of Caramel Machiato with heavy whipped cream and drizzles of caramel from Starbucks, as I curl up with a good book on a really cushy sofa.
- A clothing sale so good that I walk away from the register feeling like I stole something.
- Having good friends that see me for all that I am and love me anyway.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I drove from 7am to 3:30 pm, not too bad right? But what made it GREAT was having XM radio!
Very little DJ interruptions and no static when traveling from state to state. You know how it is when going out of a certain area. Constant fidgeting with the radio dial to pick up whatever the local station is, carrying a bunch of Cd's just to hear what you like. So frustrating. Well, when you have XM radio, all of that is eliminated! It was smooth sailing. We started off listening to Oprah radio and then moved on to some smooth r&b. When we didn't know the singer of a particular song, it was OK because with the press of a button my cousin could tell me the name of the singer and the title of the song. There were so many channels to choose from. Pretty much anything you want to hear. I really love the radio talk show feature. It sure beats listening to sports radio with my husband. of course xm has sports channels too, but it's nice to know I have such a good variety on talk radio. How awesome is that? I was thoroughly impressed. XM radio is available in your car, online,satellite cable and on your iphone. All of that for a very reasonable price too.
I know some folks out there may already be accustomed to this type of technology and are thinking that I am so late and living under a rock or something.
Well this is new to me. I'm just sayin'...someone should'a told me...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
As easy as it is to say those words, I'll admit that it is hard to put it into action. Not because of what we posses or lack within, but because of fear from those on the outside of ourselves; family, friends, Society in general.
To be all that we can be, sometimes involves vulnerability and taking chances. We have to put ourselves to the test....physically, mentally, spiritually. So scary, yet fulfilling and exciting.
Stepping out of the comfort zone. Constructive criticism. Breaking out of a mold.
This weekend I stepped out of my box, I was apart of something wonderful and bigger than myself.
I was one of the cast members of THE GIFT. An encouraging stage play that is all about choices that are morally sound. Appreciating and recognizing the various gifts that a person can receive and even posses, however ultimately understanding the most important gift of all.
By trade, I am no Thespian, but I am endowed with a love of the arts and It was a wonderful experience that I was privileged to be apart of.
Very thankful to Wholesome Entertainment for stepping out of the norm, to get this small production with such a good message seen.
(a few of the cast members)
(One of the scenes I was in)
I pushed myself to try something new, and I liked it!
*Check out the review and more pictures www.NaneTTeiZms.com/2009/08/gift.html
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
I had some techical difficutlies posting the pictures. So if you would like to view pictures of the exhibit, click here.