Monday, March 28, 2011

Out of the mouth of babes

It's so beautiful how children come into this world, all cute and cuddly. Completely edible, that we just cannot seem to get enough of their cuteness. We hug & kiss them constantly, tickle them and make funny faces just to see them laugh joyfully. Watch them sleep in the crib as we imagined who they will become in the upcoming years. I practically inhaled my children in the early days...

Fast forward to the adolescent and tween years and the picture may not always be so glorious. I've gotten past the glory days and unbeknown to myself, my children could feel it too. Imagine my surprise when my daughter commented: "mommy, how come when you are talking with your friends you laugh alot, and you laugh really hard. But when you listen to one of our jokes or stories you only chuckle or smile? " Son on the sidelines co-signing :"Yep!" Hmmm, REALLY? I only chuckle? I thought about it and realized she had a really good observation going. How could I even deny it? Not that I could anyway, my children have the ability to present their case to the judge and jury astoundingly, right along with the best lawyers of defense.

So my children came up with a plan, an intervention if you will to make me laugh really hard with them. They double teamed me and tickled until I begged for mercy! It was all so simple yet completely effective, I laughed so heartily that I cried. The looks on their faces and the joyous laughter coming from there bellies was priceless.

Lessons to be learned: 1)The glory days are not always gone, we simply just have to be active to reach back to bring them back up. 2)Laughter is very good for the heart of all that partake.

*Image used from My blue muse

Monday, March 21, 2011

Consequences, rewards and getting it done.

This is what I WAS going to post a couple of weeks ago :

" I decided I'm going on strike. Yep I am proposing a strike on cleaning. Well , sort of. *sigh* I'm not going to completely give up and let it go but i just feel the need to rebel in some way. I mean if everyone else in the house can take a firm stand against cleanliness and order, then why can't I ?

I'm just saying, if the MISTER & the kids can take off their shoes in the kitchen, leave the laundry unfolded in the living room, forget to wipe the toothpaste off the sink then..."

However, after having a very enlightening conversation with a fellow hard working, multi-tasking, still keeping it flly mama, I decided to make some adjustments in my attitude and save my sanity.

How? Well just by giving out a true dose of reality, and a little tough love, with the kiddies at least. The hubby? Thats a whole other situation! CLICK HERE to see what I mean.

I am on a hectic schedule, and as the family grows so does the mess. I was trying to do my part but also found myself doing THEIRS or nothing at all. The house and I was suffering. Anyway, I realized that all i needed to do was set out the plan and expectation along with consequences and rewards, then let them do the rest. Setting up a schedule and creating lists is not a new concept to me. In fact I was raised with notes and schedules attached to the fridge. I have written them out myself over the years. However, writing them down and distribution means nothing if not taken seriously. So, I.GOT.SERIOUS. !

Consequences are in full effect, and because I'm such a loving mom :) I also gave rewards and a point system. What I am asking of them is being accomplished and not blown off. Now of course, they had to TRY A SISTA but I commenced to regulating and they got the point. "Homie don't play 'dat!"

Yeah, all is well in the Hicks family again, more importantly it's cleaner.
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

May I please? - giving and understanding permission at the Brownie Monologues

You ever have those nights with your girlfriends or even by yourself where the order of the night is a big pan of brownies and some seriously insightful conversation? And as the night progresses the discussion and the brownies get better with every.single.bite, and you walk away feeling ever so full, nurtured and satisfied?

Well that is what the Brownie Monologues were all about. Well, sort WAS all that I mentioned except there was some testosterone in the building. Whaaaat?Yeah, I brought a MAN. I brought my honey with me because I was trying to kill two birds with one stone. You know... have a little date night too. **giggle giggle, at least HE was enlightened*

Anyway, as the night progressed and each woman shared her challenges and how or why she wanted to change something in her life I found a little bit of myself in her too. It made me so very aware, yet again that my challenges are not completely unique. As women (and some men), we each share a similar story within our own individual stories. The stories told, ranged from self image to maternal imagery and reflection, people pleasing & guilt to entrepreneurship and more. Not only were these discussed but some resolves & solutions were exchanged. I loved it! They were shining their light and I was reflecting it.

One thought organically became the theme for the evening. Giving ourselves permission. I thought that to be powerful. Because, sometimes I didn't realize how much pressure it relieves me in my everyday living and beyond when I gave myself permission to say yes or say no or to let go to something or someone. And as many of us in the room realized, there is so much more happiness and joy within our mind, body and spirit when we give permission. For me it is not permission to bounce wherever with whoever without regard or focus. But permission with balance, clarity, love & intent.

This was the inaugural Brownie Monologues and so they promised there will be more. Even better, they encouraged us to continue, if we have not already been doing so, to create our own Monologues. It's good for the soul, it can only mean a better YOU, a better ME. So now we have PERMISSION ....where are the brownies?