Honey, you're fired!

He says that he can do it all by himself, he no longer needs my assistance. After years of watching me, he is ready to experience it for his self. No I'm not talking about my son. He is not the one cutting the apron strings. The culprit in this case is my husband. For the 16 years that we have been married I have always been the accountant of our establishment. Using various budget systems & a little juggling to cover the bases. I cant say that I was perfect, but I did my job.

So imagine my shock when he approached me with his new idea. He might as well have handed me a pink slip, because I 'sho felt like I was fired! After I was done pouting, he assured me that the changes aren't "personal"...*insert eye roll*. He said it was apart of his growth and maturity as a man. Wow.

I continued to dwell on the heartfelt words he spoke to me & concluded that this may not be such a bad idea after all. I've heard the phrase "how you view a situation is how you react to it. " Perhaps I had a blurred view of the situation. I realized that in my own way I linked my responsibility of the finances with control. It's no wonder then, why I felt dethroned as he is reaching for greater responsibility. I began to view this new change in a positive light. Realizing that it could be a good thing.

I reminded myself that marraige is a partnership and no one should be in control of the other and certainly no one should be a servant. Good marraiges blossom under communication, cooperation and encouragement. There should be a balance.

Women (myself included) are often heard complaining about the irresponsibility in men. Wishing that a man would be a "real man". However, in some cases is it possible that today's modern women are actually preventing this ? For years, fighting for equal rights. Proving more and more that she can do the same jobs as he, and even better. I feel that this causes some men to sit back, leaving them unsure of how to fullfill their roles. Not wanting to appear non-progressive. Women want men to be men traditionally, but often try to controll the areas that they can do it.

Now I am aware that this not the case in every situation. Realisticly there are many women playing dual roles because they have to. So when a man who can and is willing to carry a heavier load gets involved , the woman continue to tightly hold the reigns. Because it may feel almost unnatural. This is the category that I find myself in. I come from a family, who for generations have been held together by women due to a lack of positive male headship. I've always seen women in charge, even in the presence of a man. These were unspoken lessons being taught, indeed.

As I reflect on the past I do not want to continue on in the pattern of the women before me. Carrying an unbalanced load, doing it all. As long as I have some one willing to share more of the responsibility I certainly don't need to block it. Marraige is about trust, not only in monagomy but also in money.

I've lived the first 16 years of my marraige with some control issues. For the next 16 I plan on letting them go. I'll admit there will be some bumpy roads ahead, but I'm looking forward to a great learning experience. I am offering up prayers as I type this...

Trimming The Fat

Ever hear the statement "Everything good to you is not always good for you"?
Or what about "All things are lawful for me; but not all things are advantageous"?

With the economy in it's current condition many households are finding themselves cutting back, and if they haven't done it yet, they will. My husband and I have been in the process of cutting back for about a year now, but I'll have to admit I don't think we've done a good job of it. Why? Well for the very fact that the proof is in the pudding.

We started out OK but fell back into the comfort of some bad habits. I came to the conclusion that I just have to TRIM THE FAT. That is the reality of things. No matter how much I think I deserve that pair of shoes, that dinner at a swanky restaurant or that delightful, almost sinful pick me up at Starbucks...uh, well , hmm, scratch that last one. A girl's gotta hold on to her sanity somehow. OK, I digress. But you get the point. I gotta get on a budget, better yet, make good use of the program I already own (YNAB).

I got out my steak knives & I about to start trimmin'! Doesn't mean I'm going to get rid of everything, & stop having fun. It just means that everything is getting a true evaluation of what is really necessary. I.e., how many cable channels do I really need? Do I have to use these many cell phone minutes when I currently have a land line? Can I make better choices when it comes to driving around town considering the cost of gas? Eating out should be a nice treat, not a necessity because of my lack of planning. And don't forget about the coupons. Basically, I'm asking myself and my husband "is it really that serious?"

I firmly believe that more money is not always the answer to financial woes. So many times it is just more discipline. With the proper planning for the use of our money we can still achieve our goals along with receiving some of our wants. Needless to say, I will definitely be making use of the information from the experts I find on the Internet for better ways to be fabulously frugal, via some of the networks I'm apart of. As I begin this journey (again) I will be sure to post my fabulously frugal finds for you to try out as well. So that's whats on my mind today. What about you? Do you need to trim the fat too?....