Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Five Keys to Seventeen years

This weekend my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. We both are amazed that so much time has went by....19 years to be exact, 17 of which we have spent married.

How did the time go by so fast? One day we are two kids totally infatuated with each other, refusing to be apart for more than a day, willing to go through hell and high water just to be together. The next day we are an old couple with two kids of our own, still willing to go through hell and high water to be together.

What a wonderful feeling it is to be able to look at him and feel that I have made a good choice. The very qualities that drew me to him 19 yrs ago are the same ones that draw me today, perhaps enhanced.

What makes it work? Well, for One we both want a successful marriage. It was and is important to us that we keep our vows not only to each other but to God, the originator of marriage. We realize that there is a bigger commitment involved and we want to honor it. Secondly, we forgive, even when it feels very difficult and beyond our limitation. There is a old saying: "a successful marriage is made up of two great forgivers" This is absolutely true. If he and I did not work on forgiveness I don't even think our union would have lasted past year number 2! I promise, our relationship was on the rocks the day he washed and dried his car greased hands with my "good towels!" And of course I'm not perfect so I'm sure I did things that needed forgiving too, but you'll have to ask him about that...I'm pleading the 5Th! The Third key to our marriage is compromise. We both compromise on a regular basis, recognizing that this is a partnership of which selfishness does not dwell. Well, at least not for long. It is important to remember that we should keep an eye out for not just our own interests but for those of the other person. This willingness in itself generates much love and respect in any relationship. The Fourth key is that we are still friends and still find things that we can mutually share in, although we have grown in different areas of our lives. We have not grown so differently that we have let go of the core of what made us laugh in the first place. Which leads me to the Fifth key, keeping it sexy and intimate. This is so important to me, and I don't mean just sex. However I do mean all the things that lead up to sex, no not foreplay... technically. I mean remembering to hold hands, making it a point to hug everyday. Taking the time to snuggle with each other, at home and in public. Nothing obscene has to be done in public, but it feels so great to sit in the movies with arms wrapped around each other and hands held. This is a lesson that was taught to me by my husband, through his sincere and honest communication I have learned the value of true intimacy.

There are so many other keys to a successful marriage, these are the few that I wanted to highlight today. If you appreciate it, let me know. If you know someone who can benefit, please share it with them. I love to see and hear about happy does my heart good. ;)


  1. This is a super superb post. I love it! Each of the things that you mentioned are so important. Keep up the good work.

  2. Thank you Kathy! We keep pushing on!