Reflections

It seems like every year on December 31st we hear the same phrases "where did the year go!" "It just zoomed by!" " I can't believe a new year is upon us!" The funny part to me is that we always have the same amount of time, it's just how we choose to use it or not that makes it feel like it has "zoomed" past us.

Upon the close of the present year and arrival of the new we naturally look back on the good, the bad and the ugly that went on in our lives. As I look back on my year I have to admit that I had so many good things to happen, I can only be grateful. New business venture, new house etc. Yes there were some material gain in 2010, but my emotional & mental growth has been what is most amazing to me. I feel as though the barriers that kept me from being my best self had been lowered if not removed from in front of me. This, primarily due to feeling that enough was enough, realizing that my own inabilities to move on and let go were my biggest hurdles. Finally "getting it." Truly understanding my own worth. Understanding my feelings, accepting them, working with them and being okay with them. To take off the heavy amount of pressure that I put upon myself regarding various relationships was such a relief ! This all happened during a process or a series of processes not always easy on the psyche but oh so very worth it. The end result is HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT....what a sweet way to end 2010.

I am open, ready and willing to accept all good things 2011 is going to bring me.

I wish my jeans could travel, or something like that.

Yeah, something like that...kind of like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Honestly, I never saw the movie or read the books (although I plan too), but the name and the concept speaks for itself and I think its kind of cool.

Unfortunately, my jeans and I do not belong to the Traveling Pants group. The exact reason why I am sad and saying Rest In Peace to them. In case you did not know by now, these are not JUST a pair of jeans. No, these are my FAVORITE pair of jeans. These jeans have seen me through thick and thin, literally. They are the only jeans I could wear through my yo-yo weight and still look good on me. They just adjusted to every curve I gained and each inch I lost. These jeans loved me and were loyal to me no matter what!

Over the years after much washing they began to get those tears and rips. I didn't care, it just made me and my jeans look "cooler", "hip" and "funkier". We had rips in the front and rips in the back and we were okay with it. That is until recently.....I tried them on and came to the conclusion that old faithful has gone as far as she could go. I have pushed her to her limit and it seems that she cannot adjust herself to accept my "newest set of curves." We no longer look cool , hip and funky. We just look like...well, you get the point.

So I have to say goodbye, I wish I could pack her up and send her off to the next woman in some other town, some other country, some other city. I just cannot stand to throw her away. Maybe I could donate her to the goodwill! *side eyes* Then one day I will be walking down the street minding my own business with my NEW JEANS and look over to see Her with someone else. Looking cool, hip and funky. My mind would quickly shift back to all the fun times we had back in 'da day. Remembering how she used to fit me like that too. **sigh** I know, I know, I need to just let go ...

Do you think all good jeans go to HEAVEN?

My lightbulb moment

Had a situation today that really put some "light" on how life works. It was actually kinda funny. One of those things that secretly make you feel like a dummy, looking over your shoulder for the hidden camera because this had to be a joke, right?

Well okay, here is some background info. We bought a new house 6 months ago. Fairly new, barely lived in and empty for over two years. Generally everything is in good condition, but as time went on we noticed there were some minor repairs that needed to be done on some major components of the house. It seemed like one by one, little by little something was breaking down. And let's just be honest here, no matter how minor it is a breakdown of any sort is ALWAYS inconvenient.

Two months ago, the lights in the family room stopped working. "Great! just Great!" We complained. Tried checking the wiring, and even made an appointment for an electrician to come to the house and do some inspecting. He hasn't made it here yet. That's what happens when you ask your homeboy to come out. but ANYWAY... We have just been making do, using whatever other light source we had to see whenever we were in that room. Often using the light from the open door of another room nearby, or the light from the computer screen.

Today however, I was changing the light bulb in my laundry room and I got the bright idea to put a light bulb in the family room too. I honestly didn't think it would do any good, but I figured I should just go ahead and do it now and not wait until later. So that once we got the wiring fixed I would not have to look for a bulb. Low and behold, I twisted the bulb in and then flipped the switch (just because) and there was light! Huh? Was that all that was needed all this time? Wowwwwwww, I had to chuckle at the simplicity of the situation. Talk about turning an anthill into a mountain!

Basically, because of the other issues we were facing with the house we approached the missing light situation with the same expectation. We were beginning to view everything that was going on with the house as a problem and so therefore grudgingly approached the missing light in the family room the same way. We did not look at it for what it simply was, a light bulb that needed to be changed. WE made it complicated, WE made it a serious problem. WE did not handle it as it's own entity, it was lumped all together without distinction. WE just did not consider all the possibilities.

This situation made me reflect on life. How often do we handle issues that pop up this way? Just adding each issue to the next and rolling it all into one? Creating one big problem, approaching them all with the same expectation? Sometimes though when we take on each problem as it's own compartment and deal with it accordingly we will see that it is not always soooo serious. Some issues are heavy and weighty while others are really just simple and require little to no work at all. Often the challenges of our lives are what we make them out to be.

Truly a light bulb moment....

A new series

Some of y'all might know this and some of y'all don't, but - "ahem!" I am an avid reader. Well at least I used to be. Back in da day, when I had more time on my hands It would mean nothing for me to read an entire book in one night. Finish 2-3 books in a week! I love to read and always have, ever since I can remember learning to read. Like, I just jumped from reading Dr. Seuss to the novels on my mother's bedside table. Over the years, my passion for reading has not changed, but my time and priorities have. Therefore I have not been able to read as much or in the fashion that I prefer.

Lately though, I am feeling that ol' feeling again. Once I finish one book, I am ready for the next one. Perhaps not within the same week, heck not even in the same month sometimes! But nonetheless, ready for my next good read. Just like my music preferences, I am versatile with my books. I like to read romance, mystery, motivational, self-help, christian, comedy and even adventure.

I have seen a few of my fellow blogger's post about books they have read. Their perspective on books are interesting and because I feel that I know them, I trust their opinion on whether the book is good or not. Since I am back on the scene with my book reading I decided that I would like to add a new series to my blog. It will be of course my very own book review, not sure what I will call this series but I will be sure to give my reviews an honest rating with a very sincere approach. I figured this will be something different than my usual, but kind of similar to my Tasty Tuesday Recipe Series I had going on for a while. I'm a little excited about my new blogging venture. It's a new creative outlet for me, I hope you will be excited about it too.

People are getting "Nutmeg Wasted" these days, it's the new Scary Spice

Today I went to the store to pick up some cough medicine, I've been battling a bad cough for about a week now. After nearly coughing up a lung, I decided enough is enough I gotta take something. While paying for my purchase, the woman at the register wants to know my birthday. Huh? What? I ask her why did she need my personal information just for me to get my over the counter medication. I was informed that it was a new rule, just as in purchasing alcohol or cigarettes. Really? I thought "things must be getting bad if OTC meds are having to be regulated." But then the woman behind the counter reminded me of a a new trend in "getting high" among young people today.....Using Nutmeg. Yep! I know right? Who does that? Herbs, yes I've heard of THAT. I have even heard of Cloves (another spice) and it was not really surprising to me. But, nutmeg ? I'm too old to understand this stuff. Well, apparently lots of kids / teens / young adults do. So I came home and googled it, and just as it was told to me I saw it for my own eyes. I went to Third Age website and saw THIS article. In this economy, people are looking for inexpensive ways to get high, legally. Folks are even on Youtube demonstrating this "Homemade Nutmeg High". Of course most normally think of it as a tasty spice, but in years past it was commonly used in a medicinal way for treatment of rheumatoid arthritis and other conditions. In addition it has been proven that in large doses it can be fatal. I feel bad for the kids and the parents dealing with this situation. As the lady at the register said and I agreed : " when I was a kid, I just wasn't that smart to think of these things nor was I that desperate." I'm just shaking my head and shaking my head some more. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures, but goodness gracious is anything used for it's natural purpose anymore?

Stamp of approval

The other day, while on my day off I was working like a busy worker bee. Just buzzing around from one chore to the other, remembering to take appropriate breaks for reading, eating or something else that I enjoyed. As each child came home rom school, I kissed them as a mother should and asked them about their day. Dinner was served in a timely fashion and as I cleaned up our dinner mess I had a thought :

"I've done a lot today"

I had to ponder on that thought for a little bit. Reflect on the pattern of the day. I have to admit I felt proud of it. When I sat down on my sofa in my very clean living room, looking into my very clean kitchen sighing with appreciation at the thought of my laundry being done and my bathroom was clean, I was HAPPY. I felt happy because I got things done according to MY standards, in a way that made me feel satisfied. I realized that it has been a while since I felt THAT good and confident about what I did with my day. Actually I realized that all too often I, as well as other women like myself do not give enough credit to ourselves. With self induced pressure I find myself focusing on all that I DID NOT do rather than all that I HAVE DONE. What a waste of energy! It is so much better on the Psyche to focus on the positive aspects of life, the small goals that we have accomplished. Why beat ourselves up over the the things that cannot be done, or for that matter what we don't feel like doing?

I am Not super woman (most of the time), nor am I a robot. I have been learning acceptance and looking toward myself for approval. Which means that I understand if I DON'T do everything perfect, because I recognize that I don't NEED to and I'm okay with that. I am becoming my own best supporter as opposed to my own worst enemy. I am really liking this person I am becoming, the more I get to know her the more I love her. (I know I'm speaking in 3rd person right now...it's okay) Kudos to her for having a great day of getting things done, enjoy it because as in true fashion it will be a different story tomorrow!