Friday, August 27, 2010
Why we gotta talk about this huh?
This is the time in my children's life that I sorta dread. It is the time in which they are very aware, and the light gets brighter and brighter on the concepts that I wanted to keep in a dark corner. Hidden under a basket. Suffocated. It is the time that seems to creep up on adults and take away the innocence from the eyes of the child.
In our home we had a recent stream of incidents that required some explaining of things in depth to the individual children.I Didn't want to, but due to the circumstance it needed to be done. My husband and I try not to make a big deal over such things, well at least not to the kids face. Inside my heart and behind our closed doors I am cringing and feeling sad because I want to keep their eyes and ears virgin like, forever. Of course, we know that option isn't really feasible, and so we press on providing details in increments as they are needed and required.
The most current situation to date involved me having to explain to my 11 yr old about a pkg. of condoms that were found in the nightstand drawer ( stop laughing & stop wondering). My initial reaction was like " well what you doing in my drawer anyway? Stay outta my bizness, chile!" *insert eye roll* But of course that was not the appropriate, responsible adult reaction. My husband was not home for me to throw this burden on his shoulders and off of mine; "hot potato!, hot potato!" The look on this child's eyes told me that I was not getting out of this no time soon. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!
So, I took a deep breath and proceeded to explain some things to him as best as I could. Adding on to the foundation of information he already knew, trying to fill in a few more gaps. I hate this...it feels weird...he looks weird as I tell it.... I would rather not! Where's his daddy?!
Fast forward a couple of days...
Well, while I was in my aesthetics class today, the other students and I began a brief discussion on sex and children and I was shocked to learn how other parents deal with the "sex talk." Actually NOT deal with it. These young women explained to me how they never had the talk with their parents. They had to learn it on their own, resulting in premature dating resulting in sex at a tender age. Having to make choices for birth control on their own. Wowwwwww, really? They encouraged me to keep talking to my children. Had they had "the talks" with their parents they would not have grown up so fast. By their own admission it is very necessary and they longed for it.
After hearing it from that perspective I decided that I just need to suck it up.