See, what had happened was...

Yeah, the title of this blog post is kinda how I feel I need to start talking to you guys. I mean looking back I realize I have been away from this blog for about 2 months (gasp!). How could this happen? Me? The one that likes to just talk about almost anything on this site because it is MY creative outlet, was actually not having anything to blog about.

As I was driving into school this morning ( yeah, I'm still there) I was trying to come up with a logical conclusion that made sense to me, and of course you too as to why I did not post. I decided that it started off as writers block...
Then it was because I just did not have anything to write about and then I realized... I could of easily posted a Wordless Wednesday photo and showed you our Chi-Chi-Chi-ChiaPet my husband bought for the kids because it was his one childhood fantasy that never came true (true story).I could have taken a little time to tell you how we even had an opportunity to take a mini vacation with some friends, camping and boating up at Red Top Mountain and Lake Alatoona. You probably would have laughed and shook your head when I told you how we got rained on the very first night and that we would have made any boyscout troop proud by the way we got our tarps up over our tents and campground even in the rain and lightening. Then in spite of it all, still had a perfect campfire just long enough after the storm to satisfy the kids craving for s'more's.Oh and yeah, there was that time my daughter had her emotional melt down all due to the American Girl doll I promised her 4 years ago, THAT I NEVER GOT HER...
...#sheesh That was a nightmare.

And just to give you something sentimental and mushy to cling to, I should have wrote how just so very recently I came to the realization that my babies are not really babies anymore. How this summer seems like the summer they have grown up more than I want to acknowledge and I wish I could turn back 10 yrs. *sigh*

Yeah, looking back I don't think I have much of an excuse for not blogging. But hey, at least I just caught you up to speed !
*wink*

Out of the mouth of babes

It's so beautiful how children come into this world, all cute and cuddly. Completely edible, that we just cannot seem to get enough of their cuteness. We hug & kiss them constantly, tickle them and make funny faces just to see them laugh joyfully. Watch them sleep in the crib as we imagined who they will become in the upcoming years. I practically inhaled my children in the early days...

Fast forward to the adolescent and tween years and the picture may not always be so glorious. I've gotten past the glory days and unbeknown to myself, my children could feel it too. Imagine my surprise when my daughter commented: "mommy, how come when you are talking with your friends you laugh alot, and you laugh really hard. But when you listen to one of our jokes or stories you only chuckle or smile? " Son on the sidelines co-signing :"Yep!" Hmmm, REALLY? I only chuckle? I thought about it and realized she had a really good observation going. How could I even deny it? Not that I could anyway, my children have the ability to present their case to the judge and jury astoundingly, right along with the best lawyers of defense.

So my children came up with a plan, an intervention if you will to make me laugh really hard with them. They double teamed me and tickled until I begged for mercy! It was all so simple yet completely effective, I laughed so heartily that I cried. The looks on their faces and the joyous laughter coming from there bellies was priceless.

Lessons to be learned: 1)The glory days are not always gone, we simply just have to be active to reach back to bring them back up. 2)Laughter is very good for the heart of all that partake.


*Image used from My blue muse

A family's determination to get a book in a child's hands

As a lover of reading I cannot remember a time in my life when reading was not apart of it. My weekly trips to the local library with my mother as a child left huge imprints on me. It was there with her that I was able to see a whole new world outside of my own. Right there within those four walls and the reach of my fingertips I could read about anybody, anytime, and anyplace. In my home it was never unusual to see my mother with a book in her face, and whenever I had the nerve to say I was bored she would quickly tell me "go read a book, as long as you have books you wont be bored."

Mommy said it and she was right.

Although I was fortunate to have the joy of reading influenced by my mother, that is not always the case for many children. Particularly African American children or other children of color. So I was really delighted to know that New York Times best selling author Denene Millner and her husband Nick Chiles are co-founders of and launching North Paran, A site that promotes books for, by and about black people. I love to read all types of books from all types of authors, but as a black woman myself I also enjoy reading books about people like me. And it is especially important for me to have books that are relatable to my own children. North Paran has books to cover all interests for adults and children...they even have a bargain book section (love it!). Even better, for every book that is purchased they will donate a book to a needy child. This is wonderful, a great way to give back to the community. For the child whose mother or father cannot or does not take them to the library, read to them or just can't afford it there is still an opportunity for them to develop their reading skills. I plan on showing my support and I hope you do to.

*Click here to see the brief video of Denene, Nick and the kids discuss North Paran.Then go check out the site for yourself!

Just call me Mommy Dearest

I was thinking last night, a recurring thought that I am similar to my mother. Yeah I admit it, the woman who I thought was pretty eccentric and took drastic measures to get her point across is actually living somewhere inside of me. She has taken up residence and like an annoying nieghbor she kind of likes to make surpise visits in my mind when I least expect it.

It seems to always happen when I'm dealing with the kids.*hint* It is always then at the hieght of the kid crisis that I think "Aha! I know what will fix 'em" and then I have my "Ramona Moment". The moment when my kids look at me like they are certain I am from another planet, the look that says " is this CHICK for real, for real? " For a brief moment as I look in their eyes I totally understand how THEY feel, but in another flash I totally understand how SHE felt. Then I proceed with my own eccentric and drastic measures mixed with some of hers, to get my point across...

Mothers have to do what they gotta do to raise decent, moral, respectable citizens (as my mother would say) and now that I am a mother, I concur. Does that make me "Ramona - Like" ? Maybe so...oh well, maybe it's not that bad after all.

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A positive step for media: I Love My Hair!

Currently, the Internet is viral with the Sesame Street video "I Love My Hair". When I finally got the chance to see it, my heart was elated. I felt elated because it showed growth on the part of the show. I've always loved Sesame Street, still do. In fact I may occasionally sit down and watch it even now. Of course The show has always had a broad range of people on the show represented, but this hair video just takes it a step further.

I wish when I was growing up that there was more positive media being put out regarding the image of black women. I feel had I seen more of it, I may not have struggled as much as I did with self image growing up. Oh well, it's all water under the bridge now. The most important thing to focus on is that the times have changed and the media is moving forward positively. I was so happy to be able to share this video with my daughter. She has been wearing her natural hair in dreadlocs for 3 years now and how she views herself although being different from her classmates and neighbors is important to me.

I know she nor I are defined by our hair, however the truth of the matter is that when you feel good about what you have on your head your whole self image is improved. Regardless of the hair type, it should be embraced and loved. All girls (and boys) of all races have issues with this at some time or the other in life. Often times though, our little brown ones struggle with it a little more than others. So Kudos to Sesame Street for giving me something else to aid my little girl in loving her natural self.

If you've not seen the video, check it out:

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: "No longer a SECRET"

I find it interesting that in today's society people can find any and every reason to celebrate, bring awareness to or have a holiday from work or school. It can range from the silliest thing to a very serious thing. With that being said, there are some people who like to "celebrate" and acknowledge it all. Me? Well, I tend to be a little more selective in my celebrations and acknowledgement's.

I was aware of Breast Cancer Awareness being promoted during the month of October, and I am in support of that movement. However, imagine my surprise when I learned that it was National Domestic Violence month too.
I took it upon myself to investigate this info and I was pleasantly surprised to know that on September 22, 2010 President Obama made it official by signing a Proclamation.

This does my heart good to know that more light is being shed on this very sensitive matter. It is vital that voices are heard. More women and children than we are aware of suffer the ill physical and emotional effects of domestic violence. I speak on this subject from personal experience. Coming from a family both immediate and extended where this is/was common place I have seen, heard and experienced more than I care to openly admit. Trust me....it stays with you. A child never forgets their recollections of witnessing or experiencing abuse first hand. Ultimately the physical child grows up and learns to cope, but it is the inner child that always carries the burden.

I feel fortunate that I had other positive forces in my life to help me counteract such negativity so that I was able to break the familial cycle, and I pray that neither of my children find themselves in it. However, not so many children and adults can say the same. Hopefully the more this is spoken of and against, the less of a problem it will be. It starts with early education, support, honesty and communication. Setting aside the month of October to speak about it is a great start, but it shouldn't end after 31 days.

My stance on holidays & celebrations remain the same, The Day is a great reminder but the practice should be done everyday of the year. My theory holds true to speaking on Domestic Violence as well. #SPEAKUP

If you have a couple of more minutes to spare, please view this video with some insightful facts from the White house website and share it with others...

Re: Eddie Long or any one else accused, we must educate, support and love the children.

There is so much talk going on these days regarding the Bishop Eddie Long situation. Everywhere I turn on the news, twitter, facebook and private conversations, his alleged indiscretions are coming up. It seems that people are split right down the line on what he is accused of. They are either believers of his allegations and wish him to be banned from the church or they are playing the devils advocate and acknowledging his alleged wrong doing but emphasizing forgiveness.

My stand point? I'm rather neutral, by nature I am a peace maker. I have been told that I have the ability to stand in the middle of a situation and see clearly both sides. In this case I can't say that I can see both sides ( I tend to only see one side in this case), I think I will just wait for the evidence to be presented in court. The truth will come out then. However, I do have an opinion regarding children and people of position or authority over them.

I feel that parents have got to do a better job of educating their children. Especially since many parents are leaving their children in the care of others i.e. daycare, babysitters, heck even other family members! Often times too, they are encouraged to spend time with fellow worshipers and spiritual leaders (as in the case of Eddie Long's spiritual sons). Of course our children cannot be under us 24/7 but for goodness sakes please teach them how to recognize the signs of a sexual predator!

It is a known fact that the sick minded individuals that are molesting and manipulating children look for certain types. These men and women look for the fatherless, low self esteem, angry, quiet and needy children. Through no fault of their own, they become victims. As parents, guardians, mentors of these children we must teach them to think higher of themselves. To know that it does not matter what a person offers them, they cannot and should not be bought in exchange for inappropriate behaviours. My heart went out to the young man Jamal Parris, when he said that "he loved the Bishop as a father. How he wanted so much to be loved by this person that he was willing to do the things he never thought he would". To know that he and others have been allegedly taken advantage of because of their desperate need for love is what makes me so sad. We must do our best to teach the babies that their love should never have to be bought, and to receive it should never have to hurt.

Often times children and teens will hold in their "secrets" of sexual misconduct because they feel that it will not be believed. We need to do better jobs at reassuring them that they will be believed and that we will have their backs when they come to us. This is not a conversation to be had one or two times. NO! It needs to be had over and over again , because children forget and need constant reassurance. Just like we cannot tell a child that we love them one time and expect them to know and feel it, we cannot have this discussion on sexual misbehavior one time and expect them to follow our advice and come to us immediately if it happens.

I'm not sure who these young men had in their lives, but it bothers me that no one could see the signs of this alleged situation. Are we as parents really seeing our children? Are we also being naive when it comes to various people that we put our children in contact with? When it comes to our children we can never be too safe otherwise we may wind up being sorry. WE must watch, listen and learn our children. To gain their confidence we must look for ways to show them that they can turn to us at any time they feel uncomfortable. The quicker they expose the predator for who and what they are,the less pain & suffering they have to deal with.

The scars that sexual abuse leave are never erased. They may not always be on the surface but underneath the superficial layers it finds ways to remind each victim of it's presence deep inside. As the young man in the interview said, "I will always remember the smell of his cologne, I cannot get the sound of his voice out of my head, I cannot forget the way he made me cry and the many showers I took to wipe the smell from my body"...that my friends is a tortured soul.

I know every child cannot be protected at all times and I am certainly not saying that I have always made the wisest parental decisions. However, this situation has definitely opened my eyes and caused me to see my job as a protector of my children and those around me even clearer.

Remember to talk, encourage, and build up your children. THEN REPEAT. It may save them a lot of heartache in the end.

A Day of Change

Within the past year I have had several opportunities to come my way due to my blogging and blogging networks. All of which I have appreciated immensely, however out of them all there is one in particular that is dear to my heart. That would be The Ronald McDonald House Charity.

My first experience with this charity was the Give A Hand campaign. Several blogger's and myself were invited to McDonald's to work side by side with the employees in servicing the customers and asking for a donation to support the charity. Afterward, we were then taken to the actual House and it was amazing. I truly received an education, my eyes were opened.

Fast forward to spring 2010, I was given the privilege of participating in the National Moms Night Out event which provided a dinner, entertainment and pampering services for the mothers of the House. Those women were so deserving, due to their tenacity and love for which they have for their children. The children of whom are dealing daily with very serious illness.

Now , here we are in the current day and I have been given the privilege once again to show support for this wonderful charity. In my short time of dealing with this charity I witnessed with my own eyes how far a small contribution can go. Therefore I make a conscious effort to regularly contribute. A contribution to this charity goes to support the families of children who are fighting for their lives. People who travel many miles just to have the life saving treatment that their children need. The recipients not only receive beautiful and comfortable housing, but they get help in so many other areas.

Last year through the contributions of many people across the nation, RMHC was able to raise 20 million dollars! Wow! That shows that there is power in numbers, when everyone just gives a little it will grow a lot. That is why I am encouraging everyone that I know to remember September 9, 2010 , The National Day of Change. Walk into your local McDonald's search for the donation box and please drop in your pocket change. Use this as an opportunity to teach your child about charity and giving back to help those less fortunate. It's best to teach them now, leading by example.

Your donation will not go to waste. You won't have to worry that your funds are being used appropriately...I've seen it for myself. So , help make a difference in a families life. Give up your pocket change on September 9Th. To learn even more, including viewing video and pictures click here. RSVP for this event on Facebook and share with your friends, get them involved too! There is so much satisfaction in giving.



*this is not a paid post, however I was contacted to share the information with my readers and it is written from the heart*

Why we gotta talk about this huh?

This is the time in my children's life that I sorta dread. It is the time in which they are very aware, and the light gets brighter and brighter on the concepts that I wanted to keep in a dark corner. Hidden under a basket. Suffocated. It is the time that seems to creep up on adults and take away the innocence from the eyes of the child.

In our home we had a recent stream of incidents that required some explaining of things in depth to the individual children.I Didn't want to, but due to the circumstance it needed to be done. My husband and I try not to make a big deal over such things, well at least not to the kids face. Inside my heart and behind our closed doors I am cringing and feeling sad because I want to keep their eyes and ears virgin like, forever. Of course, we know that option isn't really feasible, and so we press on providing details in increments as they are needed and required.

The most current situation to date involved me having to explain to my 11 yr old about a pkg. of condoms that were found in the nightstand drawer ( stop laughing & stop wondering). My initial reaction was like " well what you doing in my drawer anyway? Stay outta my bizness, chile!" *insert eye roll* But of course that was not the appropriate, responsible adult reaction. My husband was not home for me to throw this burden on his shoulders and off of mine; "hot potato!, hot potato!" The look on this child's eyes told me that I was not getting out of this no time soon. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!

So, I took a deep breath and proceeded to explain some things to him as best as I could. Adding on to the foundation of information he already knew, trying to fill in a few more gaps. I hate this...it feels weird...he looks weird as I tell it.... I would rather not! Where's his daddy?!

Fast forward a couple of days...

Well, while I was in my aesthetics class today, the other students and I began a brief discussion on sex and children and I was shocked to learn how other parents deal with the "sex talk." Actually NOT deal with it. These young women explained to me how they never had the talk with their parents. They had to learn it on their own, resulting in premature dating resulting in sex at a tender age. Having to make choices for birth control on their own. Wowwwwww, really? They encouraged me to keep talking to my children. Had they had "the talks" with their parents they would not have grown up so fast. By their own admission it is very necessary and they longed for it.

After hearing it from that perspective I decided that I just need to suck it up.

Oh No She Didn't Tuesday!: We got trust issues

Last week my daughter and I were discussing the back to school items that she needed to begin 4Th grade. I don't know about you, but school sorta snuck up on me this year and I was totally NOT ready for the first day.

As we were talking about book bags, pens and paper I remembered that in the absence of school prep in my mind I had not booked a hair appointment for her. I figured well it's too late now, I'll just do her dreadloc maintenance myself. Shouldn't be too difficult...wash, condition, moisturize and twist the new growth of each 'loc.

I begin to explain my plans to this 9 year old little girl, who BTW has been going to the salon regularly since she five. Her face showed it all, the fear and distrust of ME a non-professional stylist doing her hair. You would think that should have been enough, but nooooo! This young girl proceeds to say " I don't think that is a good idea! I'm sorry to say this but I do not trust you doing my hair. I will just wait until you schedule my appointment with Shaina (our stylist), you might mess it up!"

"OH NO SHE DIDN'T! Clearly she got me all twisted....

Oh No He Didn't Tuesday! : What really is "normal?"

Recently I gave my eleven year old a list of chores to do. On this particular day that I delegated these chores I also did not allow any video game or television watching until it was all done. Mind you, my children are no strangers to chores. It is a common practice in our home. However, you know how it is, you give a kid an inch of slack from working and they just take a whole yard...or two.

Well anyway, my son was assigned the chore of washing dishes. HAND WASHING the dishes, not loading up the dishwasher, but absolute old skool filling up the sink with a few drops of liquid dish soap and a splash of bleach. I leave the area for a little bit and returned to see giant crocodile tears and a pleading look in my sons eyes. I ask him why and he responded with a flow of tears like a raging river.

He said....with so much sincerity "I just want to be a NORMAL KID WITH A NORMAL CHILDHOOD". Okay, so I had to blink a few times because of the shock. I had to look around me to be sure he was talking to ME. Last time I checked , this kid had a pretty good life. He continues to explain..."I don't like having to do these chores! All I wanna do is play like the rest of my friends. No one else has to work like I do! It is so unfair the way I have to clean every day. I think you make me do chores because of how you were raised and now your trying to do the same thing to me!"

BLANK STARE... Say it with me "OH NO HE DIDN'T !"

Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T” TUESDAY, a super awesome blog carnival created by Kristi at Live and Love…Out Loud. Click on over to her blog to find out what made her and everyone else stop and say “OH NO HE DIDN’T!”

Not so wordless Wednesday: If the shoe fits, WEAR IT! Or maybe NOT.

Yeah....I know it looks bad. I promise I did not knowingly send my child to school with these shoes on. I happened to look down when she came home and this is what I saw. She has plenty of other shoes to wear but she likes these...

All I could do is shake my head and imagine the teachers at school thinking "what kind of mother does she have?" ....Don't answer that! *wink*wink*

Has this ever happened to you? Please leave a comment to pull this sistah outta the
mommy- is- somewhere- in- la-la- land blues.

Help for Isabella

Recently I received a call from a friend and colleague in DC regarding her god daughter Isabella. A beautiful little four year old with Leukemia, who in 2008 received a bone marrow transplant and was in remission until March 2010. As she told me the story of this brave little girl, I was very touched at heart, because being a parent of a daughter AND a son I cannot imagine the heartache that Isabella's mother is going through... Actually, I can imagine it. As a parent there is NOTHING worse than feeling helpless when it comes to the well being of your child.

Currently, Isabella is in need of another bone marrow transplant but does not have any prospects. Why? Because, only 30 percent of the patients in need find a matching donor in their own family. Which means that they will then have to turn to the National Marrow Donor Program. That should solve the issue right? Wrong! There are not enough minorities/people of color registered to be a donor and so people of color have the hardest time getting a donor match. Which means there is only One in a million chance of getting a match. How sad! This was a eye opener for me, because I did not know that in order to receive a bone marrow transplant the donor has to be of same or like ancestry.

I began to wonder "why is it that so many minorities are not represented in such a needed area?" Well I believe it is because of a lot of misconceptions within our communities. So I did my own research and came across the Be The Match Registry (also known as the National Marrow Donor Program) . This website is full of information, one page that I found very informative was the MYTHS & FACTS PAGE where I learned that I was wrong in my knowledge about being a donor. It is not a overly painful procedure that is done without anesthesia, and there is more than one way to donate. You should check out the site, perhaps there is a myth that you believed too, but can learn the truth to. Go to www..marrow.org

Please check out the site find out where you can go locally to register and learn what you can do to help Isabella and children like her. And imagine, what would you want for your children if they were in her shoes? How would you feel if YOU were Monica, Isabella's mother fighting for the survival of your child which is dependant on the sacrifice of others? A serious matter, deserving serious attention.

Here is another site that I found for those who want to help but want to do so without the use of blood. I know that personally I want all of my needed surgical procedures to be performed without the use of blood transfusion. If you have the same beliefs or concerns then this site www.noblood.org is a great place to start looking for bloodless alternatives when donating and receiving for transplants.

Let's give Isabella and others like her a fighting chance.

A change of pace and a new scene

Recently I've made a decision with my family to send my two children back to public school. This was not an easy decision. I've been homeschooling them for two years, of which I had grown very accustomed to doing. Most of the time we had a good routine and I was proud of what I was teaching them. It gave me a great sense of accomplishment and drew me closer to them. Even more importantly to me was that my husband and I stood our ground and kept pushing ahead even when various family members were against my decision to home school.

So, what made me send them back? They did...sort of. It's a combination of reasons, however their repeated requests initiated it all. I believe that in dealing with my own health issues over the last 7-8 months, I was slacking in my enthusiasm and zeal regarding home school. Which of course is an energy that the children can feel. Then after my surgery, I was immobile for a few weeks and totally gotten off routine. School began to be hit or miss, boring and non-challenging and anyone who knows my kids personally will understand that school days like that just wont do!

Humbly and somewhat reluctantly, I gave in to the requests (more like pleas) to go back to school. I was sad at first because I felt like I was failing in some way. As if my children's requests to return to public school was a reflection on me as a mother and teacher. Now I realize that it is more of a need for change of scenery, nothing personal. It was agreed that it will be for a period of one year and then we will go back to our home school refreshed and re-focused. Basically we will alternate schooling. Of course, I had mixed feelings as we walked through the halls of the brick and mortar setting. The children were really excited. Even more exciting to me is that my children in comparison to the other students are fine academically. They were trying to contain their excitement for fear that they were "hurting my feelings."* insert a long "aaaawwwwwww" * But I knew they were happy to be back in population. I'm trying to be positive and enjoy my break. I mean, I think I can find a few things to fill my time. Every teacher deserves a break right?

Back in the Day, we handled things so differently

I have a dilemma, if some of you have been following my tweets you know that last night my son had to be taken to the ER. Yeah, on a Friday night the ER is not cool. I mean not that I had something cooler to do...I wish, but anyway! It's not the point! Whether I had something cool to do or not does not take away from the fact that sitting in the ER on a Friday night is not cool.

Why were we there? Because my children and the other neighborhood kids decided to play cops and robbers with the Nerf guns. As they are frolicking in the yard one overzealous boy began to shoot my son point blank range in the eye! Not once, Not twice, but several times. My son is telling him to stop, tries to run away but to no avail. The kid wont let up! And to make matters worse, he began to tease and bully him. Calling him "soft, a sissy, and a wuss." Let me just say for the record: My son is not a wuss! He's just sensitive ;-)...In the end my boy wound up with a corneal abrasion, requiring a topical antibacterial ointment to be applied 4 times a day.

My husband and I are old skool. We grew up in different states, He in the south and I in the north. However, when we were kids, playing with wild abandon on the streets of our neighborhoods we knew how to handle ourselves. If ever I was playing and somebody tried to get bad with me, I got badder. Even If scared I would not back down and run home. I stood my ground and was ready to scrap if I had to, and I still have the scars to prove it. ( really, I do) Growing up partly in Harlem and the Bronx NY, my parents did not take kindly to me coming home saying "I got beat up." That was NOT acceptable. They never encouraged me to fight recklessly, but they did expect me to protect my self if I had to. That's just the way it was.

harlem, circa 1970's

Here is my Dilemma: As we are raising our children in the 21st century, full of awareness of what is socially acceptable, appropriate and what is not, it is hard to turn aside those old school ways. I certainly don't want to encourage my son to use violence to solve his issues, or hold him accountable for not being able to "fight" , but at the same time, I do not want to see him getting his butt whooped in the neighborhood. This is the 3rd or fourth time, this other kid has fought my son.

What does a parent do when you are teaching your child to be loving, kind and respectable to others while other parents are not instilling the same values? We have taught our son to put on the Christlike personality and to turn the other cheek when situations get heated. Walk away, remove himself from the situation. However, unlike the times past kids today don't just slap you a couple of times or beat you up, leaving you with a simple bruise. Kids today are vicious, they will beat you within an inch of your life, sometimes actually taking another child's life. Other kids may join in or watch and cheer from the sidelines.( you've seen the news reports) This leaves me totally freaking out at the thought of the possibilities of what could happen to my children if they don't fight. It is what causes my husband and I go get straight old skool and start telling our kids to "go crazy on that fool, if he starts messin' with you again!" " Beat the crap outta him!" "if you go off on his butt one good time, I bet he'll leave you alone!"

This is just awful to me. I feel so trapped between a rock and a hard place with this situation. We live in the suburbs and are far removed from the city streets that we grew up in. So therefore our children do not have those same natural street smart skills. I never wanted to raise my children in "the hood", but there are times like this that I wish we did, in my own mind it seems that they would be a little tougher and more adept at dealing with bullies.

Goodness, I'm trying to raise these children right and get them to adulthood as decent moral citizens, but it is not easy is it?

Can't we all just get along?....kumbaya people, kumbaya.

One Simple Act

Walking into a store a man OR woman decides to hold the door open for you. An older woman is walking who needs assistance is approached by a young boy to steady her steps. Giving a listening ear to a friend in need. Providing a day of babysitting for a single parent or stay at home mom free of charge, so they can have a break. Giving a donation to someone in need. What do all of these situations have in common? They are all simple acts of kindness. Simple acts of thoughtfulness and generosity. Although simple, they are powerful.

It's all about paying it forward. We are living in a society where there is so much selfishness and individualism. Each one forgetting about the needs of their fellow man/woman, not realizing that kindness begets kindness and would really make the world a better place. Human lives are all intertwined where one good or bad deed can and will create a domino effect. However how much more fulfilling and satisfying is it when you know that YOUR good deed created a chain of happiness to others? Releasing wonderful endorphins into the atmosphere...sigh.

Recently I had the privilege of participating in the McHappy Day at McDonald's. This enlightening experience gave my children and I an opportunity to learn about McDonald's support of the Ronald McDonald House Charities. Along with other bloggers we were able to work behind the counter and the drive through of a Decatur, Ga McDonald's, owned and operated by a very enthusiastic and passionate Carrie Salone. While being McDonald's employees for a while we had the opportunity to ask the customers to give a hand by donating a $1.00 to the RMHC. One dollar is all that was asked of each customer, one SIMPLE dollar. Small, yet powerful because each dollar donated went to help a sick child in need at the Ronald McDonald House. Providing a comfortable, healthy, beautiful and often times FREE accommodations for those experiencing the hardship of treating a serious illness.

After we were done working we were taken on a tour of the actual Ronald McDonald house in Atlanta. Let me just say I was completely imressed and touched by the care, consideration and love that it took to build this wonderful facility. It is equipped with a state of the art kitchen area. Several living rooms, perfect for reflecting, reading playing games or watching television. I was excited to see a very large laundry area and a library equipped with Internet and computers to make the residents feel as if they were in the comforts of their own home. The design of each room was carefully thought through, each room has a special filtering system to keep the air as clean as possible to prevent further illness to the children with sensitive immune systems. In fact, this particular house is the only Eco friendly house available. Leading the way for more to come, I'm sure.

We were able to hear testimonies from a few families who have benefited from this charity and believe me when I say it was moving. My eyes were certainly opened and I have to admit that I inwardly felt shame. Shame, because I have been to McDonald's and seen the donation boxes for the RMHC and dismissed it as some sort of scam not really knowing or believing that my simple act of dropping in some change would really go to such a worthy cause. However, now that I have seen for myself first hand what those small donations can do for these children and their families I will be a supporter. Even in such a small way as dropping in a few coins when purchasing my meals.

How else can you and I help? I know you want to know... Well, other than dropping in a few coins, food can be donated to the RMHC as well as books, toys or games for the residents. So what simple acts can you do? Some one needs a hand...one day it may be you, it may be me.

Here is a link to the pictures that was taken of our enlightening day; http://picasaweb.google.com/marloherring/McDs_Bloggers?feat=email#

*To read more about doing simple acts read this great book by Debbie Macombes, One simple act.*

*For information about the Ronald McDonald House Charities go to http://www.rmhc.org/ and http://rmhc.org/how-you-can-help/donate

Oooops! Did I say that?

Children are so impressionable. They hear everything, see everything and are THINKING about what they THINK they hear.
It seems that nothing escapes their vivid imaginations. Early on, parents are checking under the beds, peeping in closets and closing blinds to keep out the unwanted creepy things.
However as time rolls on I'm learning that a child's imagination is triggered not only by what is on T.V. . It is also stimulated by the words that come out of mom and dad's mouth. Innocently, I do not hide very much of my life from my children. I have been known to talk very casually in their presence regarding various opportunities, experiences or issues. Mind you, I live a clean life. So, much of what I have spoken of is nothing that causes shame, or what I personally considered innappropriate. Let's be clear...
However i've recently learned through an experience that regardless of how innocent, adults talking without proper discernment in front of little ones is not the best Idea. Primarily because children do not properly percieve adult concepts. Many words, phrases and situations can be misinterpreted and cause needless anxiety or insecurity.
I was approached by an older family friend about my unscrupulous talking within the children's earshot. I'll admit, I quickly blew it off. But later on I pondered over it. I REALLY thought about the true implications, the consequences of what this dear friend made me aware of.
So, in a divided effort to prove her wrong and soothe my ego, I had a very frank conversation with the children. I thought to myself, "my kids arent like that, they don't misunderstand what I say." The conclusion? The wise woman proved true! Now I know SOME may read this and think "well, DUH!" ....what can i say? It was a lesson learned, allbeit the hard way. We live in a free country and have the gift of free will. However freedom of speech is relative.

There is definately wisdom in "Big mama 'nems" words: "this is grown folks business...when grown folks are talkin' children need to get walkin'. "

I Get the point now.

Mirror, mirror on the wall

I have something I need to say.

I am concerned about some of the websites that are designed for young girls, specifically targeted at the age group of 7-17. Many, if not all of them seem to focus heavily on materialism and what I call the "Paris Hilton life style". These websites although designed with good intent to boost self esteem and stir up creativity, appear to also stimulate a sense of discontent. I say this because I have watched my 8 yr old on these sites. Generally I believed them to be cute and entertaining. My daughter received much joy from creating new hairstyles, designing fashionable outfits, and being a makeup artist. She really is a Fashionista in the making.

I never really thought too much into her time spent on these sites. I mean, I always checked to be sure they were sites suitable for children of course. And to be frank, I enjoyed the free time that it gave me when she was engrossed in "designing". However, it was not until recently that I began to think twice about what was really going on. How she was being affected on an emotional level.

Recently, my daughter came to me and asked if she could become a superstar. I did not know what she was talking about. I told her; "you're already a superstar honey." Her emphatic reply was that she wanted to be a REAL superstar and she needed my credit card to do it. Hold up! What? My credit card? OK, now she has my attention. She eventually was able to show me what she was talking about. On this site there is a lot of basic fashion pages, equiped for a paper doll type avatar that each girl can call her own. However, every girl can move on to superstar status if they pay $5.95 per month. "huh?" I questioned what was this fee for? Indya, went on to tell me that the fee will enable her to have bigger and better things. A nicer apartment, furniture, expensive clothes, a nice car etc. etc. As she was relaying this information to me, she appeared to be a little bit too desperate for my liking. Am I hearing this right? This is supposed to be child's play, right?

From my very core I was disturbed. What kind of message is this really sending to young girls? I asked a friend about my feelings and she understood my thoughts. I have always tried to help my daughter create a strong sense of self. And believe me she does have a strong sense for an 8 year old. But I do not care for the idea that she could possibly gauge her worth by the material things she possessed ( virtual or not). Too many girls today are growing up with the idea that more is better and bling is bliss. Focusing on the external and not enough time spent on developing the internal. Early on girls are forming cliques in schools based on status (believe me, I've seen it even in 1st grade), the mean girl mentality is evident. Remembering my days as a young girl/young adult with low self esteem, it just is not a path that I want to see my child going down. She needs to feel, know and believe that regardless of what she has, or what group she fits in with, she is still a superstar at all times. In real life, material things come and go. They can only carry a person to a point. However, strong character and inner beauty will never stop pushing a person ahead. Finding pleasure and happiness in the simple things that make life truly enjoyable and meaningful is priceless. Worth more than silver and gold. That is the area that I want her focus on.

I began thinking that maybe I'm taking this a little too serious. After all she is just a little girl having fun on a website that I allowed her to be on. But still I felt uneasy. So I pondered on that, but decided that a mother can't ever be too sure. sometimes the very simple signs are the very things we tend to take for granted and often can be what will snowball into something bigger later on. How many times has it been said "if I knew back then what I know now, I never would have allowed...". Yeah, I know I can't predict the future of my daughter, nor shield her from all the emotional curves she will encounter. However, what I do know is that I can be mindful of the example I set and the role that I play. Keeping an eye on how I feed into behavior patterns.

There for I decided I would not purchase the superstar status for her. For me, it just felt like going too far. I believe I would be contributing in some way to some unhealthy ideas. I recognize that perhaps I will even need to reevaluate some of the sites that she visits and set some new guidelines for her. None of which is limited to just the websites, but television, and music videos too. This will cause some upset, but this mom has got to do what she has to do. If my daughter wants to continue to play virtual dress up, makeup artist, etc. she will still have the freedom to do so. However it will have to be done within what I deem to be healthier parameter's.

With the increase of technology and media our children are being exposed to more and more ideas and values that are not our own. Those of which creep up into our lives oh so subtle. Which means we have to be that much more aggressive or quick to correct, encourage and refine the fibers that create a strong foundation. I don't know all the answers, but what I do know is that I want to build something more substantial within my little girl so that she can soar and be the woman that I know she can be. And I definitely don't think that buying her way to SUPER STARDOM is going help her to do that. I'm just saying...

Theyyyyy'rrrrrrrrre Heeeerrrrrre!

No. No one scary. In fact they are completely sweet and lovable. At least my kids and their friends think so. Who am I talking about?

The Zhu Zhu Pets!

My Children and I were delighted when selected to host a Zhu Zhu pet party. These cute little toy pets are a much cleaner, and hassel free way to introduce a pet into your home. Each Zhu Zhu pet comes with a name, and rolls around by itself on a hard surface (we had to use our kitchen floor). They also make little noises, over 40 sounds varying from little chirps and beeps to actual cow and chicken sounds. I think I even heard a train sound one time. My kids thought they were really adorable. What I like is that unlike a REAL hamster, there is no mess to clean up and food to buy, and we certainly don't have to deal with it dying. My children had a real hamster once...So! like I said, these are so much easier to care for.

One of the Attachable accessories that the pets can play on. A ramp and twisty slide.It actually goes up the ramp and down the slide on it's own.

A activity center / habitat for the pets

The display of the Zhu Zhu pets

Once all of the party guests had arrived, the mayhem began! Every kid wanted one, and they all received a accessory for their pet. There was a car with a garage that the pet could ride in. A slide, A surf board, a Giant activity center and even a ball for the pet to roam around the house in! What's great is that the accessories are all attachable, which means each piece can connect to the other piece to create a very big activity center with plenty for a pet or two, to do. Some assembly is required and a little help is needed by an adult to put the accessories together, but it was not overly difficult. The children loved racing their pets too! I could tell that these pets would be a good way to keep the kids entertained.

At the end of the day, my children slept with their pet...Something I NEVER let them do when they had a real hamster.

That Says it all Folks!

**For more information about the Zhu Zhu pets go to www.zhuzhupets.com

Forget what you planned

See this guy?

Hard working and industrious. Leaving before the sun rises each morning.

Each day begins the same, with the exception of today.

I turn over to greet Mr. Sunshine and This guy is laying next to me.

What?!

This doesn't happen on a weekday.

What is really going on?

Surprise...He decided to take the day off.

Yayyyy!!!!

Right?

Wrong!

Our carefully planned school schedule is a little more difficult to execute on this day. Everyone is up 30 minutes later, trying to get in extra cuddle time. Breakfast is late and school work started even later. And what ever I thought was on my agenda for today has been replaced with his agenda and mine is now rescheduled for tomorrow....

Yeah, so can you tell?

DADDY'S HOME