Reflections

It seems like every year on December 31st we hear the same phrases "where did the year go!" "It just zoomed by!" " I can't believe a new year is upon us!" The funny part to me is that we always have the same amount of time, it's just how we choose to use it or not that makes it feel like it has "zoomed" past us.

Upon the close of the present year and arrival of the new we naturally look back on the good, the bad and the ugly that went on in our lives. As I look back on my year I have to admit that I had so many good things to happen, I can only be grateful. New business venture, new house etc. Yes there were some material gain in 2010, but my emotional & mental growth has been what is most amazing to me. I feel as though the barriers that kept me from being my best self had been lowered if not removed from in front of me. This, primarily due to feeling that enough was enough, realizing that my own inabilities to move on and let go were my biggest hurdles. Finally "getting it." Truly understanding my own worth. Understanding my feelings, accepting them, working with them and being okay with them. To take off the heavy amount of pressure that I put upon myself regarding various relationships was such a relief ! This all happened during a process or a series of processes not always easy on the psyche but oh so very worth it. The end result is HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT....what a sweet way to end 2010.

I am open, ready and willing to accept all good things 2011 is going to bring me.

I wish my jeans could travel, or something like that.

Yeah, something like that...kind of like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Honestly, I never saw the movie or read the books (although I plan too), but the name and the concept speaks for itself and I think its kind of cool.

Unfortunately, my jeans and I do not belong to the Traveling Pants group. The exact reason why I am sad and saying Rest In Peace to them. In case you did not know by now, these are not JUST a pair of jeans. No, these are my FAVORITE pair of jeans. These jeans have seen me through thick and thin, literally. They are the only jeans I could wear through my yo-yo weight and still look good on me. They just adjusted to every curve I gained and each inch I lost. These jeans loved me and were loyal to me no matter what!

Over the years after much washing they began to get those tears and rips. I didn't care, it just made me and my jeans look "cooler", "hip" and "funkier". We had rips in the front and rips in the back and we were okay with it. That is until recently.....I tried them on and came to the conclusion that old faithful has gone as far as she could go. I have pushed her to her limit and it seems that she cannot adjust herself to accept my "newest set of curves." We no longer look cool , hip and funky. We just look like...well, you get the point.

So I have to say goodbye, I wish I could pack her up and send her off to the next woman in some other town, some other country, some other city. I just cannot stand to throw her away. Maybe I could donate her to the goodwill! *side eyes* Then one day I will be walking down the street minding my own business with my NEW JEANS and look over to see Her with someone else. Looking cool, hip and funky. My mind would quickly shift back to all the fun times we had back in 'da day. Remembering how she used to fit me like that too. **sigh** I know, I know, I need to just let go ...

Do you think all good jeans go to HEAVEN?

My lightbulb moment

Had a situation today that really put some "light" on how life works. It was actually kinda funny. One of those things that secretly make you feel like a dummy, looking over your shoulder for the hidden camera because this had to be a joke, right?

Well okay, here is some background info. We bought a new house 6 months ago. Fairly new, barely lived in and empty for over two years. Generally everything is in good condition, but as time went on we noticed there were some minor repairs that needed to be done on some major components of the house. It seemed like one by one, little by little something was breaking down. And let's just be honest here, no matter how minor it is a breakdown of any sort is ALWAYS inconvenient.

Two months ago, the lights in the family room stopped working. "Great! just Great!" We complained. Tried checking the wiring, and even made an appointment for an electrician to come to the house and do some inspecting. He hasn't made it here yet. That's what happens when you ask your homeboy to come out. but ANYWAY... We have just been making do, using whatever other light source we had to see whenever we were in that room. Often using the light from the open door of another room nearby, or the light from the computer screen.

Today however, I was changing the light bulb in my laundry room and I got the bright idea to put a light bulb in the family room too. I honestly didn't think it would do any good, but I figured I should just go ahead and do it now and not wait until later. So that once we got the wiring fixed I would not have to look for a bulb. Low and behold, I twisted the bulb in and then flipped the switch (just because) and there was light! Huh? Was that all that was needed all this time? Wowwwwwww, I had to chuckle at the simplicity of the situation. Talk about turning an anthill into a mountain!

Basically, because of the other issues we were facing with the house we approached the missing light situation with the same expectation. We were beginning to view everything that was going on with the house as a problem and so therefore grudgingly approached the missing light in the family room the same way. We did not look at it for what it simply was, a light bulb that needed to be changed. WE made it complicated, WE made it a serious problem. WE did not handle it as it's own entity, it was lumped all together without distinction. WE just did not consider all the possibilities.

This situation made me reflect on life. How often do we handle issues that pop up this way? Just adding each issue to the next and rolling it all into one? Creating one big problem, approaching them all with the same expectation? Sometimes though when we take on each problem as it's own compartment and deal with it accordingly we will see that it is not always soooo serious. Some issues are heavy and weighty while others are really just simple and require little to no work at all. Often the challenges of our lives are what we make them out to be.

Truly a light bulb moment....

A new series

Some of y'all might know this and some of y'all don't, but - "ahem!" I am an avid reader. Well at least I used to be. Back in da day, when I had more time on my hands It would mean nothing for me to read an entire book in one night. Finish 2-3 books in a week! I love to read and always have, ever since I can remember learning to read. Like, I just jumped from reading Dr. Seuss to the novels on my mother's bedside table. Over the years, my passion for reading has not changed, but my time and priorities have. Therefore I have not been able to read as much or in the fashion that I prefer.

Lately though, I am feeling that ol' feeling again. Once I finish one book, I am ready for the next one. Perhaps not within the same week, heck not even in the same month sometimes! But nonetheless, ready for my next good read. Just like my music preferences, I am versatile with my books. I like to read romance, mystery, motivational, self-help, christian, comedy and even adventure.

I have seen a few of my fellow blogger's post about books they have read. Their perspective on books are interesting and because I feel that I know them, I trust their opinion on whether the book is good or not. Since I am back on the scene with my book reading I decided that I would like to add a new series to my blog. It will be of course my very own book review, not sure what I will call this series but I will be sure to give my reviews an honest rating with a very sincere approach. I figured this will be something different than my usual, but kind of similar to my Tasty Tuesday Recipe Series I had going on for a while. I'm a little excited about my new blogging venture. It's a new creative outlet for me, I hope you will be excited about it too.

People are getting "Nutmeg Wasted" these days, it's the new Scary Spice

Today I went to the store to pick up some cough medicine, I've been battling a bad cough for about a week now. After nearly coughing up a lung, I decided enough is enough I gotta take something. While paying for my purchase, the woman at the register wants to know my birthday. Huh? What? I ask her why did she need my personal information just for me to get my over the counter medication. I was informed that it was a new rule, just as in purchasing alcohol or cigarettes. Really? I thought "things must be getting bad if OTC meds are having to be regulated." But then the woman behind the counter reminded me of a a new trend in "getting high" among young people today.....Using Nutmeg. Yep! I know right? Who does that? Herbs, yes I've heard of THAT. I have even heard of Cloves (another spice) and it was not really surprising to me. But, nutmeg ? I'm too old to understand this stuff. Well, apparently lots of kids / teens / young adults do. So I came home and googled it, and just as it was told to me I saw it for my own eyes. I went to Third Age website and saw THIS article. In this economy, people are looking for inexpensive ways to get high, legally. Folks are even on Youtube demonstrating this "Homemade Nutmeg High". Of course most normally think of it as a tasty spice, but in years past it was commonly used in a medicinal way for treatment of rheumatoid arthritis and other conditions. In addition it has been proven that in large doses it can be fatal. I feel bad for the kids and the parents dealing with this situation. As the lady at the register said and I agreed : " when I was a kid, I just wasn't that smart to think of these things nor was I that desperate." I'm just shaking my head and shaking my head some more. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures, but goodness gracious is anything used for it's natural purpose anymore?

Stamp of approval

The other day, while on my day off I was working like a busy worker bee. Just buzzing around from one chore to the other, remembering to take appropriate breaks for reading, eating or something else that I enjoyed. As each child came home rom school, I kissed them as a mother should and asked them about their day. Dinner was served in a timely fashion and as I cleaned up our dinner mess I had a thought :

"I've done a lot today"

I had to ponder on that thought for a little bit. Reflect on the pattern of the day. I have to admit I felt proud of it. When I sat down on my sofa in my very clean living room, looking into my very clean kitchen sighing with appreciation at the thought of my laundry being done and my bathroom was clean, I was HAPPY. I felt happy because I got things done according to MY standards, in a way that made me feel satisfied. I realized that it has been a while since I felt THAT good and confident about what I did with my day. Actually I realized that all too often I, as well as other women like myself do not give enough credit to ourselves. With self induced pressure I find myself focusing on all that I DID NOT do rather than all that I HAVE DONE. What a waste of energy! It is so much better on the Psyche to focus on the positive aspects of life, the small goals that we have accomplished. Why beat ourselves up over the the things that cannot be done, or for that matter what we don't feel like doing?

I am Not super woman (most of the time), nor am I a robot. I have been learning acceptance and looking toward myself for approval. Which means that I understand if I DON'T do everything perfect, because I recognize that I don't NEED to and I'm okay with that. I am becoming my own best supporter as opposed to my own worst enemy. I am really liking this person I am becoming, the more I get to know her the more I love her. (I know I'm speaking in 3rd person right now...it's okay) Kudos to her for having a great day of getting things done, enjoy it because as in true fashion it will be a different story tomorrow!

I really, REALLY don't want to...

Yeah so, I've been having a couple of bad hair days...okay, weeks....Alright ! Months! I'm just gonna put it out there, I hate to do my own hair. Ever since I was about 17 I have always went to the salon on consistent basis. I was the faithful client, never missing an appointment and doing whatever I needed to (legally) pay for the service. Come Hook or Crook, I got my hair "did."

Well these days I cry a different story. I still go to the salon...just not as often as before. The bad part is that I am so accustomed to getting it done, that it has made me lazy. I will go as lonnnnng as I can before I break down and commit to doing my loc maintenance ( tightening or twisting of the new growth from my dread locks). To make matters worse, I am not the best at preventive care for my hair. I know, shame on me. I do know better, I mean how hard can it be to put on a little Castor oil or Shea butter and put a silk scarf on my head before bedtime? Obviously for me it is on the high end of the difficulty scale.

Fast forward to my current visit for my daughter to our salon of choice Honeecomb natural hair . While my daughter is getting her hair washed, conditioned and interlocked I can feel the disapproving eyes of my stylist. Although we are chit-chatting away, picking up where we left off from the previous visit...Yeah, she's checking it all out with the sharp eye of a professional who is serious about her *stuff*. Just when I thought I was gonna walk away unscathed, she let me have it! Ever so gently... As she gave me my goodbye hug, she felt my locks. DRY, BREAKING, & IN GROWTH LIMBO. Oh what shame. *smh* I tried to go home and ignore the nagging thoughts of what she said, but it wouldn't go away.

Aaaarrrrggghhhh! I wanna scream, shout, even kick something. I. don't. wanna. do. THIS.

The nagging thoughts won. The bad thing about nagging thoughts though, is that you never know when you may have to give in to them. My time happened to be the very inconvenient time of 4 a.m. . I couldn't take it any more. I did what I had to do, washed, conditioned and maintained.

After all of that emotional turmoil, I have to admit....I do look kinda cute. ;)

It was a fat chance

Today I played hooky from school, yep I did. I went to bed with every intention of getting up at 5:30 am, leaving my house by 6:30, fight the traffic and sit at my desk at 8.
That's what my body was planning to do. My mind had other ideas. So it just did not happen.

I feel bad about it....well kinda. I just wanted one more day to lay around and do nothing. Actually I was doing somethings like; checking my humongous pile of emails, doing my follow up calls, and adjusting my calenders. I even found a little bit of time to study. I wanted to be doing stuff, I just didn't want to leave the house to do it. I wish there was a way to skype with my class on days like this. Although that may make it just toooooo easy. Habitual line steppers like myself just may take advantage.

This whole going to school 5 days a week thing is getting to be hard on a sista. Gotta stay focused. I promise I will be a better student tomorrow. Can't make any promises for next month.

... Featuring Norah Jones

Okay, I hate to admit it but I cannot say that I was a Norah Jones fan prior to now. I know, some of you might be staring blankly at the screen right now wondering "what's my deal. " Really I don't know why I never liked to listen to her sing I Don't Know Why...Go figure.

Fast forward to 2010 with the release of her newest CD featuring cameos, duets and collaborations with many other artists that I absolutely love. Her work with artists such as Herbie Hancock, Talib Kweli, Dolly Parton and Willie Nelson has me scratching my head and wondering where I went wrong with this woman. Obviously I had a misconception, and closed minded view of her talent. I allowed my opinion of one song to over shadow all of her other work. Shame on me.

When given the chance to review her CD I went for it, looking for a chance to try something new and was pleasantly surprised. I could not get enough of it! I am playing this CD daily hearing her renditions of certain songs I was already familiar with such as ; Baby It's Cold Outside & Here We Go Again. I have even been turned on to other songs and artists that I have not heard of before such as ; the Dirty Dozen Band (Ruler of my heart) , The Little Willies (Love Me) and Sasha Dobson (Bull Rider).

The musical selections span over a period of 9 years. Obviously 9 years that I have missed out on. Excuse me while I hit the repeat button...

The Cd is available in stores now. Go to Norah Jones Official website for more info. You can also check out her YouTube channel for interviews and behind the scene scoops on her collaborations.
*No money was given for the review of this CD. However through my affiliation with One 2 One network, I was provided the CD to give my honest opinion*

Hidden lessons from dear aunt Shirley

Lately, I have been in heavy thought about my dear, great aunt Shirley. She always held a special place in my heart since as long as I can remember. Perhaps it was her stylish ways that just kept me captivated. She was full of color, and had a very engaging smile and a LA-DEE-DA way about herself. She was such the diva in our family, and she gladly let it be known too! That is sort of the joke among some family members, when we begin to act in "high society"ways that are reminiscent of Shirley. Each of us secretly wanting to have some characteristics of her apart of us.....I mean, it's in our DNA to have a little bit of diva in us right? Only Natural.

*I pause in recollection, with a smile*

Well lately, I have been feeling so close to her although she is passed on. I feel close to her in the sense that I am finding myself drawn to some of the things that was so "classic" of her, putting her in my thoughts almost daily. Feeling like I can understand her reasoning on somethings, and wondering if this was the age of which she began to "be" the certain way that we all came to love about her. It makes me smile, when I see her reflected in me as I am more and more doing small things like her.

There were two things that she always did; 1) She always drank champagne and 2) she always wore sexy satiny lounge wear. In my memory of her, she did not have a special occasion to do these things. It was her routine. She was fancy and glamorous. Up until recently I just used to laugh it off, and think that was just her being "extra". But I have to realize lately that she was on to something and we just needed to catch up to her level. *side eye, sly grin*
It is in my understanding that her doing these things signified that she celebrated each day. She did not need anything special to sip champagne or wear her satiny pj's....she was worth it all the time. What a lesson! How often do I, do we live our life like it is a celebration? When do we take the time to appreciate our selves, and the small blessings that we have? My aunt Shirley was not a wealthy woman , but she appreciated the fine things, and according to her standards she had the best and she basked in it.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, enjoy the blessings in your life today. Share them with your family & friends. Don't wait for the special occasion to use your good china, or your nice tea set. I plan to Be like Aunt Shirley the Diva and pull out the champagne glass, pour myself some bubbly and relax in my satin pj's & robes....remembering that life in itself should be a celebration. The fact that I have yet another day to be my best self is a joyous occasion all it's own.

A valuable lesson indeed. Thanks Aunt Shirley....

Wordless Wed: Beauty on a cloud

*image from imagefave.com

My New Obsession

Leggings are my new obsession! I Haven't worn them since high school, but I can clearly remember my first pair in 1985. Going on a little shopping trip with my friends, riding on the Marta Bus heading to the Underground Atlanta. I was looking for something cool to wear the following week to school, this was a big deal for me. Number one, I was riding on the bus heading DOWNTOWN with my friends ALONE and Secondly, my mother was allowing me to shop for MYSELF. What?! You couldn't tell me nothin' honey!
We casually perused Peachtree street, window shopping. All along, laughing and joking at the interesting activities going on that busy and sunny Saturday afternoon. We finally stopped and eagerly went inside of Lerner's and began looking for outfits, sure that we would find our fashion treasure. I felt so grown up trying on my clothes and awaiting the thumbs up from my girlfriends. Anything was better than Mommy telling me what to wear, and what was "in style".
Any way, I eventually came across my prize. A pair of white leggings with the stirrups and pin pleats down the front . Oh! they were so pretty to me. I thought I looked great. The perfect color ( I was going to wear every color shirt I had with it) and the perfect fit, I was a budding young lady who was just on the brink of puberty and wanted to show what little bit of shape I THOUGHT I had.

Yeah, that was then....

Fast forward 25 years later, I would not be caught dead in a pair of leggings. I thought they were for every other girl except me. Well, almost every girl. there have been a few that might have needed to leave those leggings on the rack! But anyway, I digress. I just did not feel comfortable in my own skin to wear something so close fitting to my body, although at this point I got a lot more shape to show than my early puberty years.

Well something crazy came over me and I bought not one but two pairs of leggings! Oh yeah, I was stepping out of my zone....and I liked it! Not because I been working out like crazy, and have this super toned body. Not because I am at the weight and size that I want to be right now. I bought them, just because the time was right. I. am. comfortable. with. ME.

So now, I am obsessed with leggings. I notice them everywhere I go on everybody I see. I notice them all and imagine myself rocking it out in them. I'm on a mission so maybe I'll get them in Purple...


In Gray...
Maybe Brown.... ( I look good in brown)
This would make me look like a really Hot Momma!

Like I said....I'm obsessed

*all photo credits go to Victoria's Secret*

New things added everyday...

Can someone please turn it off?!! ;)

Visions of growth dancing in my head; My Dream Board

Have you ever tried to create a plan for yourself? You either make a mental note, or you might even decide to write it down in a journal or some kind of paper only to forget or misplace it. Well at least that is what happens to me sometimes. I think about a lot of things, create a lot of goals however because I am always thinking, thoughts get lost somewhere in my head.

I've often heard people talk about vision boards and last year I was planning on creating one but.... I forgot. *sighhhhhh* Well I recently picked this thought back up and actually followed through on it. I actually did a digital vision board through Oprah.com . It's called the O Dream Board. It lets you create a Dream Board that you can keep on your desktop. This makes it super convenient, to see it all the time especially since so many of us are always on our computers. There is even an option to print your Board at Walgreens if you just have to have something tangible. When creating with the O Dream Board you don't have to worry about gathering magazines, scissors, glue, tape, photos or anything. Just simply use the photo images that is supplied or use your own photos that you can upload. You can even choose your color theme and add quotes, and intentions to the board. There is even an option to create more than one board.

I love it. I have no reason to "forget" now. My Dreams are manifesting as I type....

Want to create your own? Go to http://www.oprah.com/spirit/O-Dream-Board-Envision-Your-Best-LifeTM and download it.

**photo credit - Oprah.com
The opinions expressed in this post are solely my own. I was not asked by Oprah and her staff to promote this product, although it would have been nice if they did. :)

Celeste Alexander Design Studios grand opening

October 9th I had the opportunity to celebrate the grand opening of Celeste Alexander Design Studios. I just had to go out to Snellville to show her some support. I first met Celeste at the Trumpet Awards gifting suite earlier this year and let me tell you, she is truly a spicy DecoratingSista! She knows how to bring color combinations together with patterns and textures in such a beautiful way. Having designed spaces for several Celebrities in the Atlanta area, there is definitely experience to be found. Celeste does not only work with big names, she will also work with the average person with a variety of budgets. Educating people on how to live beautifully and helping them reach their decorating goals, she does Drapery trunk shows, decorating parties with wine & cheese and private consults....she really gets it in! Not only is her style fabulous, she is also a beautiful person inside and out.

If you are looking for a fresh new look, please check her out at:
2340 Ronald Reagan Pkwy Scenic Hwy 124
decoratingsista@yahoo.com

A positive step for media: I Love My Hair!

Currently, the Internet is viral with the Sesame Street video "I Love My Hair". When I finally got the chance to see it, my heart was elated. I felt elated because it showed growth on the part of the show. I've always loved Sesame Street, still do. In fact I may occasionally sit down and watch it even now. Of course The show has always had a broad range of people on the show represented, but this hair video just takes it a step further.

I wish when I was growing up that there was more positive media being put out regarding the image of black women. I feel had I seen more of it, I may not have struggled as much as I did with self image growing up. Oh well, it's all water under the bridge now. The most important thing to focus on is that the times have changed and the media is moving forward positively. I was so happy to be able to share this video with my daughter. She has been wearing her natural hair in dreadlocs for 3 years now and how she views herself although being different from her classmates and neighbors is important to me.

I know she nor I are defined by our hair, however the truth of the matter is that when you feel good about what you have on your head your whole self image is improved. Regardless of the hair type, it should be embraced and loved. All girls (and boys) of all races have issues with this at some time or the other in life. Often times though, our little brown ones struggle with it a little more than others. So Kudos to Sesame Street for giving me something else to aid my little girl in loving her natural self.

If you've not seen the video, check it out:

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: "No longer a SECRET"

I find it interesting that in today's society people can find any and every reason to celebrate, bring awareness to or have a holiday from work or school. It can range from the silliest thing to a very serious thing. With that being said, there are some people who like to "celebrate" and acknowledge it all. Me? Well, I tend to be a little more selective in my celebrations and acknowledgement's.

I was aware of Breast Cancer Awareness being promoted during the month of October, and I am in support of that movement. However, imagine my surprise when I learned that it was National Domestic Violence month too.
I took it upon myself to investigate this info and I was pleasantly surprised to know that on September 22, 2010 President Obama made it official by signing a Proclamation.

This does my heart good to know that more light is being shed on this very sensitive matter. It is vital that voices are heard. More women and children than we are aware of suffer the ill physical and emotional effects of domestic violence. I speak on this subject from personal experience. Coming from a family both immediate and extended where this is/was common place I have seen, heard and experienced more than I care to openly admit. Trust me....it stays with you. A child never forgets their recollections of witnessing or experiencing abuse first hand. Ultimately the physical child grows up and learns to cope, but it is the inner child that always carries the burden.

I feel fortunate that I had other positive forces in my life to help me counteract such negativity so that I was able to break the familial cycle, and I pray that neither of my children find themselves in it. However, not so many children and adults can say the same. Hopefully the more this is spoken of and against, the less of a problem it will be. It starts with early education, support, honesty and communication. Setting aside the month of October to speak about it is a great start, but it shouldn't end after 31 days.

My stance on holidays & celebrations remain the same, The Day is a great reminder but the practice should be done everyday of the year. My theory holds true to speaking on Domestic Violence as well. #SPEAKUP

If you have a couple of more minutes to spare, please view this video with some insightful facts from the White house website and share it with others...

Change of the seasons

Well, it's that time of year again. The time of year when the nature around us sheds it's physical layers and begin preparing for less activity. I actually really like the fall, it is so beautiful. So many rich colors that warm your soul and cause a person to reflect and give thanks. This is the time of year that I love to go camping with my family, hike nature trails and sit by a nice fire. Oh, and don't forget it's perfect cuddle weather.

I am hoping to get in more reading these next few months going into winter. There are books such as Sula that I have on my nightstand begging me to open it. I hope to also get in some crocheting (yes, I crochet) for my brother's new baby girl to be born this month. I have a list of things that I would like to use this time of the year for. I hope I will be able to scratch them off the list. *Sigh* So much I want to do, better get started 5,4,3,2,1....

Re: Eddie Long or any one else accused, we must educate, support and love the children.

There is so much talk going on these days regarding the Bishop Eddie Long situation. Everywhere I turn on the news, twitter, facebook and private conversations, his alleged indiscretions are coming up. It seems that people are split right down the line on what he is accused of. They are either believers of his allegations and wish him to be banned from the church or they are playing the devils advocate and acknowledging his alleged wrong doing but emphasizing forgiveness.

My stand point? I'm rather neutral, by nature I am a peace maker. I have been told that I have the ability to stand in the middle of a situation and see clearly both sides. In this case I can't say that I can see both sides ( I tend to only see one side in this case), I think I will just wait for the evidence to be presented in court. The truth will come out then. However, I do have an opinion regarding children and people of position or authority over them.

I feel that parents have got to do a better job of educating their children. Especially since many parents are leaving their children in the care of others i.e. daycare, babysitters, heck even other family members! Often times too, they are encouraged to spend time with fellow worshipers and spiritual leaders (as in the case of Eddie Long's spiritual sons). Of course our children cannot be under us 24/7 but for goodness sakes please teach them how to recognize the signs of a sexual predator!

It is a known fact that the sick minded individuals that are molesting and manipulating children look for certain types. These men and women look for the fatherless, low self esteem, angry, quiet and needy children. Through no fault of their own, they become victims. As parents, guardians, mentors of these children we must teach them to think higher of themselves. To know that it does not matter what a person offers them, they cannot and should not be bought in exchange for inappropriate behaviours. My heart went out to the young man Jamal Parris, when he said that "he loved the Bishop as a father. How he wanted so much to be loved by this person that he was willing to do the things he never thought he would". To know that he and others have been allegedly taken advantage of because of their desperate need for love is what makes me so sad. We must do our best to teach the babies that their love should never have to be bought, and to receive it should never have to hurt.

Often times children and teens will hold in their "secrets" of sexual misconduct because they feel that it will not be believed. We need to do better jobs at reassuring them that they will be believed and that we will have their backs when they come to us. This is not a conversation to be had one or two times. NO! It needs to be had over and over again , because children forget and need constant reassurance. Just like we cannot tell a child that we love them one time and expect them to know and feel it, we cannot have this discussion on sexual misbehavior one time and expect them to follow our advice and come to us immediately if it happens.

I'm not sure who these young men had in their lives, but it bothers me that no one could see the signs of this alleged situation. Are we as parents really seeing our children? Are we also being naive when it comes to various people that we put our children in contact with? When it comes to our children we can never be too safe otherwise we may wind up being sorry. WE must watch, listen and learn our children. To gain their confidence we must look for ways to show them that they can turn to us at any time they feel uncomfortable. The quicker they expose the predator for who and what they are,the less pain & suffering they have to deal with.

The scars that sexual abuse leave are never erased. They may not always be on the surface but underneath the superficial layers it finds ways to remind each victim of it's presence deep inside. As the young man in the interview said, "I will always remember the smell of his cologne, I cannot get the sound of his voice out of my head, I cannot forget the way he made me cry and the many showers I took to wipe the smell from my body"...that my friends is a tortured soul.

I know every child cannot be protected at all times and I am certainly not saying that I have always made the wisest parental decisions. However, this situation has definitely opened my eyes and caused me to see my job as a protector of my children and those around me even clearer.

Remember to talk, encourage, and build up your children. THEN REPEAT. It may save them a lot of heartache in the end.

The Bridal Makeup Expo : my perspective

Everyone loves a beautiful bride right? There is something about seeing a woman all dressed in white, bouquet in hand gliding to meet the love of her life. It represents hope and love, the continuation of life.Well, this past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the Bridal Makeup Explosion by
Mete' Dela an events planning company. The theme of this event was brides around the world. We were able to watch various brides walk the runway representing the bridal and makeup style of a particular continent. It was spectacular! Especially for me, I never been to an actual runway show before. Back stage there was so much hustle and bustle between the models, stylists, makeup artists and photographers. I kind of felt like I was on the set of America's Next Top Model. And just as we see on the reality shows, there was a divalicious model acting crabby and bratty regarding a particular dress that she did not want to wear. Looks to me like the stylist & make up artist were ready to throw some 'bow's on her and snatch out her lashes, but alas!....the show must go on at all costs.I thought the choice of venue; The Biltmore Ballrooms, in Atlanta Ga was fantastic. There were so many people representing various aspects of the industry. Tables and booths were setup for skincare, photography, videography, makeup and a pamper bar with the Pamp 'n Glam squad (more on that later ;)). There was entertainment, but let me be frank...it could have been better. The singers were more like screamers into the microphones. One group looked like they did not even practice their moves before getting up to perform. I was not impressed and neither were the attendees. Overall though, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a great opportunity to network and meet people, gaining new experiences.

So, I'm ready for the next event! Got an invite?.....

Precious Moments, a perfectly sweet gift giveaway

I remember the first time I knew that I was pregnant. It was such an overwhelmingly emotional feeling of joy and love all rolled into one. I can remember waiting impatiently until my my 1st trimester was over so that I could begin to buy cute little baby things. Every week I was searching the racks of my favorite stores for anything that I thought would look adorable on my new baby and in his nursery.

For me it was a very big deal to have my baby's room all decked out. It had to be color coordinated with the colors of my choice and everything placed in perfect array. Once it was completed (6 weeks before his birth) I would check the room constantly, imagining my baby laying in his room in royal fashion. ( don't laugh, you know you did it too!)

This past weekend my brother and his girlfriend was given a baby shower by her family. They received such wonderful gifts, all the things that my little princess niece could need. Among the gifts that she received was a Precious Moments 3 piece bedding set. **insert the oohhs and aahhs here** Of course I'm making such a big deal because that was the gift I brought. ;-). I think it will be a precious addition (pun intended) to the decor of the new baby's nursery.

Precious Moments began as a faith inspired artwork over thirty years ago and is still going strong. Recently the company has branched out and opened it's new online Precious Moments Boutique . This is a great online destination for anyone who is a fan of the Precious Moments product. From figurines, to clothing, to bedding and even home and garden! You will find what you want. I know I was impressed by the company when I learned as much as I did from their site. Not only does the creators of PM design all of the afore mentioned things but they even have a park! Don't take my word for it, go to the site to see for yourself all that this product line has to offer.

And if you really have time on your hands you can watch this brief 5 minute video on how the Precious Moments figurines are made.....I thought it was interesting.

And now here is the sweet deal: would you like to win the Precious Moments bedding set for your new baby or as a gift for someone else? Well all you have to do is 1) leave a comment telling me who you want this set for and 2) put out this tweet : "I just entered a Precious Moments giveaway by @hicksgirl93 at www.sandrahicks.blogspot.com"

The contest will end by midnight on 9/18. Wish you the best!

*No money was provided for this blogpost. However the gift item was given in exchange and is provided for the purpose of the contest and promotion*

Taking the stress out of stressful ordering and gift buying, My Milson Road experience

As most of my readers know, I have recently moved into a new house. Of course, just the thought of moving in itself can cause one to feel a measure of stress. There are so many things to consider and remember; where to place the furniture? Should I get new furniture? I think I might need new pieces of decor to go with the new style of house. And the list goes on and on...

Well, with so many stressful decisions to make, there was one that was stress-less. It was absolutely stress-less when I went online to place my order at MilsonRoad.com for my 17 yr wedding anniversary Daily Portrait. In a few simple clicks I was able to create a customized lead news story that highlighted our wedding in 1993 and our anniversary in the current year of 2010. Throughout the process I was able to pick out not only the frame, but also the type of mat to go with it. Which they offered a nice variety of colors to compliment any home color scheme. The portrait itself is set up to look like an actual newspaper. I thought it was very cool to contrast and compare what was going on in the world on the day and year of our wedding to how things are now in the headlines. It showed the top songs of that year and the top songs of the current year. There were even highlights on best books, fashion, technology and sports. I could even upload my own pictures of the past and present.

I was very impressed at how thorough the Milson Road editing team were, when I submitted my info; such as names, dates, places, etc. I thought I had double checked everything to ensure no typographical error. Low and behold, I get an email regarding the spelling of my husbands name. I was so thankful that they double checked my double checking, because that would have been really embarrassing !

When my daily portrait finally arrived, I was very please by what I saw when I opened my package. The print was wrapped in a very cute lavender gift band ( my fav' color). Even my honey thought it looked great. I proudly hung it up right away. This is definitely worth keeping forever and displaying proudly.

Shortly after receiving it, I invited some friends over to check it out for themselves and share with them my experience. Just like I thought, they loved the concept and was already discussing how they could each use their coupon card that I gave them, courtesy of Milson Road.

Maxine excited about her coupon card she plans to use for parents anniversary. :)

I even had one person in on the conversation via Skype....now that is what I call a virtual party!

Showing my portrait to my friend on skype

These portraits can be purchased for yourself or as a gift for any occasion. Birth announcements, weddings, anniversary, birthdays, or anything that you consider to be a milestone. Whatever you may choose to use it for, you can be sure that it will be unique.

If you want to know more about how you can order one of these fabulous gifts for yourself, go directly to their site: www.MilsonRoad.com

Here is my lovely portrait! isn't it awesome?

*I received this item as a gift in exchange for truthfully sharing my opinion with my friends. No money was given."

Operation Code: Blogalicious in full effect

Ever want something really bad, you plan for it, think your gonna get it and then *WHOOPS* something happens to take it all away?

Well join the club! That's how I felt when I was making my plans for Blogalicious10 in Miami Florida for next month. I've been super psyched about going, but then I decided to embark upon some new schooling, to expand my profession. Of course school for adults ain't free, so I am having to sacrifice my money for purchasing a ticket to Blogalicious for my monthly school tuition. It was a tough decision, but I had to do it (trying to be a responsible adult). I know I made a good choice, and I realize that my $$'s can only stretch but so far but....".I wanna go sooooo baaaad" *insert really high pitch whiney voice here*

So when I heard about the contest to WIN a ticket to Blogalicious I was all over it like white on rice! I need that ticket, I need to be Miami, I.NEED.TO.WIN

Do you need a ticket too? Well you can enter the contest with Little Tech girl , but I'm gonna go ahead and claim it...."I GOT THIS!* ;)

Finally, someone who understands me!

A Day of Change

Within the past year I have had several opportunities to come my way due to my blogging and blogging networks. All of which I have appreciated immensely, however out of them all there is one in particular that is dear to my heart. That would be The Ronald McDonald House Charity.

My first experience with this charity was the Give A Hand campaign. Several blogger's and myself were invited to McDonald's to work side by side with the employees in servicing the customers and asking for a donation to support the charity. Afterward, we were then taken to the actual House and it was amazing. I truly received an education, my eyes were opened.

Fast forward to spring 2010, I was given the privilege of participating in the National Moms Night Out event which provided a dinner, entertainment and pampering services for the mothers of the House. Those women were so deserving, due to their tenacity and love for which they have for their children. The children of whom are dealing daily with very serious illness.

Now , here we are in the current day and I have been given the privilege once again to show support for this wonderful charity. In my short time of dealing with this charity I witnessed with my own eyes how far a small contribution can go. Therefore I make a conscious effort to regularly contribute. A contribution to this charity goes to support the families of children who are fighting for their lives. People who travel many miles just to have the life saving treatment that their children need. The recipients not only receive beautiful and comfortable housing, but they get help in so many other areas.

Last year through the contributions of many people across the nation, RMHC was able to raise 20 million dollars! Wow! That shows that there is power in numbers, when everyone just gives a little it will grow a lot. That is why I am encouraging everyone that I know to remember September 9, 2010 , The National Day of Change. Walk into your local McDonald's search for the donation box and please drop in your pocket change. Use this as an opportunity to teach your child about charity and giving back to help those less fortunate. It's best to teach them now, leading by example.

Your donation will not go to waste. You won't have to worry that your funds are being used appropriately...I've seen it for myself. So , help make a difference in a families life. Give up your pocket change on September 9Th. To learn even more, including viewing video and pictures click here. RSVP for this event on Facebook and share with your friends, get them involved too! There is so much satisfaction in giving.



*this is not a paid post, however I was contacted to share the information with my readers and it is written from the heart*

Always the little things that mean so much

Recently after a very busy and strenuous week I decided to do something that I love to do but never have the time, * okay, uh, Make Time* for.... a bath.
You know, actually using one of those things that is in the bathroom. It's rather large and hold like 15 gallons of water. Yeah most of the time mine just sits there unused, gathering dust and holding little Nick-knacks on its edge. I have every intention of spending time with it, often dreaming of how high I could fill it up with bubbles. Imagining myself soaking away all my troubles as I inhale the aromatic oils of jasmine and rose. But then, life takes over and I have to opt for the often quick shower.

Finally, I pushed my "schedule" aside and made time for ME. I filled the tub with hot water and began to add my favorite ingredients; Honey, baking soda, avocado oil and Jasmine essential oil. Deep breath in through the nostrils.....ssslllowwwwly exhaling through the mouth. *SIGH*

As I eased my tired body into the therapeutic waters, I felt each muscle relax and all the stiffness went away to a place far, far, away. I set my Pandora stations to my favorite tunes and very soon realized why this was one of my favorite past times. I was able to take real time just for me. I was able to give my body and mind the TLC that it deserved. I realized that I was taking my own self for granted and vowed to remember how I felt at that moment. Making a mental note for an encore...

Why we gotta talk about this huh?

This is the time in my children's life that I sorta dread. It is the time in which they are very aware, and the light gets brighter and brighter on the concepts that I wanted to keep in a dark corner. Hidden under a basket. Suffocated. It is the time that seems to creep up on adults and take away the innocence from the eyes of the child.

In our home we had a recent stream of incidents that required some explaining of things in depth to the individual children.I Didn't want to, but due to the circumstance it needed to be done. My husband and I try not to make a big deal over such things, well at least not to the kids face. Inside my heart and behind our closed doors I am cringing and feeling sad because I want to keep their eyes and ears virgin like, forever. Of course, we know that option isn't really feasible, and so we press on providing details in increments as they are needed and required.

The most current situation to date involved me having to explain to my 11 yr old about a pkg. of condoms that were found in the nightstand drawer ( stop laughing & stop wondering). My initial reaction was like " well what you doing in my drawer anyway? Stay outta my bizness, chile!" *insert eye roll* But of course that was not the appropriate, responsible adult reaction. My husband was not home for me to throw this burden on his shoulders and off of mine; "hot potato!, hot potato!" The look on this child's eyes told me that I was not getting out of this no time soon. He wanted answers and he wanted them now!

So, I took a deep breath and proceeded to explain some things to him as best as I could. Adding on to the foundation of information he already knew, trying to fill in a few more gaps. I hate this...it feels weird...he looks weird as I tell it.... I would rather not! Where's his daddy?!

Fast forward a couple of days...

Well, while I was in my aesthetics class today, the other students and I began a brief discussion on sex and children and I was shocked to learn how other parents deal with the "sex talk." Actually NOT deal with it. These young women explained to me how they never had the talk with their parents. They had to learn it on their own, resulting in premature dating resulting in sex at a tender age. Having to make choices for birth control on their own. Wowwwwww, really? They encouraged me to keep talking to my children. Had they had "the talks" with their parents they would not have grown up so fast. By their own admission it is very necessary and they longed for it.

After hearing it from that perspective I decided that I just need to suck it up.

Pieces Of A Dream

I recently had a dream...my dreams are usually full of all types of unusual activities, people, places and events. Much often like a three ring circus, so much going on, you don't know were you should focus your attention. Because every ring is chock full of something exciting and your afraid you may miss out if you don't watch closely.

Often times I wake up and I don't remember the whole dream, but I'll remember that it was good or bad (based on how I feel when I awake). So this dream was no exception, It was a full three ring circus and I can't remember it all but, there was one segment that is very vivid to me. I was having a discussion with someone about taking chances and stepping out of our comforts. This was not for purpose of a career change, but for the purpose of self appreciation. In my dream I was explaining all of these pretty bizarre activities that I did in the name of love for self. None of which I do in reality, well, not to the extent in my dream. ;)

Anyway, in my dream I encouraged the young woman to see the need to take on the fight or flight attitude when it comes to self love and appreciation. Many times people (especially women) either run from loving and accepting themselves or they fight to achieve and maintain it. I had been on the flight aspect for most of my life. However, not too long ago I began my fight. And I must say just as much as it was/ is frightful it is also exhilarating. As I explained to the woman in my dreams I had to do some pretty radical things to force myself into self love and appreciation once I acknowledged that I was lacking.

I explained how necessary it was to do whatever you have to do to put yourself on the right path for this to take place. It can mean your very life and your purposeful existence. Once you accept the fact that you are lovable, worthy and beautiful your mind body and spirit begins to blossom in ways unimaginable. As I spoke, the woman's eyes grew wide, but I also saw the determination in them. I felt proud to have learned this lesson and share it with her. After saying my piece and feeling satisfied by it, I arose from my spot and in a most confidant way I left the room going through the door as regal as a black butterfly.

When I woke up I felt BEAUTIFUL and LOVED....

Oh No She Didn't Tuesday!: We got trust issues

Last week my daughter and I were discussing the back to school items that she needed to begin 4Th grade. I don't know about you, but school sorta snuck up on me this year and I was totally NOT ready for the first day.

As we were talking about book bags, pens and paper I remembered that in the absence of school prep in my mind I had not booked a hair appointment for her. I figured well it's too late now, I'll just do her dreadloc maintenance myself. Shouldn't be too difficult...wash, condition, moisturize and twist the new growth of each 'loc.

I begin to explain my plans to this 9 year old little girl, who BTW has been going to the salon regularly since she five. Her face showed it all, the fear and distrust of ME a non-professional stylist doing her hair. You would think that should have been enough, but nooooo! This young girl proceeds to say " I don't think that is a good idea! I'm sorry to say this but I do not trust you doing my hair. I will just wait until you schedule my appointment with Shaina (our stylist), you might mess it up!"

"OH NO SHE DIDN'T! Clearly she got me all twisted....

Terrific Tuesday Tasty Recipe: Eggs & Toast, Toast & Eggs

I enjoy a wonderful breakfast, in fact it is often my favorite type of food to eat. I especially like to eat a breakfast that is simple yet quick and goes well with my morning coffee or tea.

Here is a recipe that only has two ingredients, maybe three, that I think you will like. Some call it eggs in a basket but I just simply call it eggs in toast. Wanna try it? Check this out -

1 slice of whole wheat bread (or bread of choice) 1 egg 2 pats of butter 1 tablespoon of shredded cheese using a 3 inch circular cookie cutter or the shape of your choice, make a hole in the center of the bread. Place the butter in the pan to melt ( med heat), place the bread in the pan. Crack open the egg careful to keep it in the hole. Cook on each side about a minute and flip it over to the other side. Once done, slide on a plate, add cheese, salt and pepper to taste. Perfection!

Tapping into my creative side: a new kitchen back splash

Last week I stated that I was going to show you some pictures of my kitchen project. Well, I decided to do you one betta. I made another video. I'm still learning how to do this, so my voice and video is still a little off. Please bear with it and enjoy anyway.

Oh No He Didn't Tuesday! : What really is "normal?"

Recently I gave my eleven year old a list of chores to do. On this particular day that I delegated these chores I also did not allow any video game or television watching until it was all done. Mind you, my children are no strangers to chores. It is a common practice in our home. However, you know how it is, you give a kid an inch of slack from working and they just take a whole yard...or two.

Well anyway, my son was assigned the chore of washing dishes. HAND WASHING the dishes, not loading up the dishwasher, but absolute old skool filling up the sink with a few drops of liquid dish soap and a splash of bleach. I leave the area for a little bit and returned to see giant crocodile tears and a pleading look in my sons eyes. I ask him why and he responded with a flow of tears like a raging river.

He said....with so much sincerity "I just want to be a NORMAL KID WITH A NORMAL CHILDHOOD". Okay, so I had to blink a few times because of the shock. I had to look around me to be sure he was talking to ME. Last time I checked , this kid had a pretty good life. He continues to explain..."I don't like having to do these chores! All I wanna do is play like the rest of my friends. No one else has to work like I do! It is so unfair the way I have to clean every day. I think you make me do chores because of how you were raised and now your trying to do the same thing to me!"

BLANK STARE... Say it with me "OH NO HE DIDN'T !"

Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T” TUESDAY, a super awesome blog carnival created by Kristi at Live and Love…Out Loud. Click on over to her blog to find out what made her and everyone else stop and say “OH NO HE DIDN’T!”

A new shade of blue and a blogging break

It has been a few weeks since I been on my blog, I miss it. I miss my readers, "how ya'll doing?"
Finally getting settled in my new home. Sigh!....I love it, love it. I have been busy decorating and I am very excited about showing you the pictures. I'll tell you one thing, I have totally fallen in very deep like with the color BLUE. This is a new color for me. I generally have earth tones as my color palate, but I am really stepping out of my box and I'm excited about it!

I'm hoping that next week I will be back to my regularly scheduled posting, please be on the look out for me, keep your fingers crossed!


XOXO, MISSING YOU!

I'm not a middle sister, in fact I am the oldest sister! But these wines are the bomb, and I can be a Drama Queen.

Out of my 5 mile radious

Today I decided that I was gonna get out of my nest. As some of my friends know, I have been working daily for a few weeks now, trying to get ready for my move. Each day I pack up some things, clean out some things, throw away some things *shhh! don't tell the hubby*. In between all of that I am still taking care of the family and working outside the home with clients and networking as often as I can.

But today was an awakening! Literally! I woke up and decided that I was going to get out of my house and do something just for ME. I decided I was gonna go outside of my normal 5 mile radius and go to the MALL!

Insert music for dramatic effect--- *Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn!*

Do you have any idea how long it has been since I been to a mall? So long that I dare to tell my daughter that I came here without her. In any case I came and I am here sitting in Starbucks sipping on my iced coffee curled up in a cozy leather chair, listening to easy going music, inspired to blog. It feels good too. I came out because I wanted to shop for new furniture, (not really buy anything but to window shop) I wanted to get some great ideas on the furniture that will go great in my new place. I had no disturbances, no kids to tell me where THEY wanted to go and no husband tapping his toe and checking his watch as I took my time strolling.

*SIGH*

I'm so glad that I took the time out to even do something for myself. I shook up my scene and it feels fabulous! Now I can go back home and finish my work with a smile on my face.

Every now and then a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do so she can be the best gal that she can be....Say THAT five times fast!

p.s while I was in Starbucks I got some great inspiration for a new hair color! whoo-hoo!

Oh No (S)He Didnt Tuesday! - Biting the hand that feeds

It is no secret to my friends and family that my 17 month old pup Isabelle is a handful. In the words of my sister "Isabelle has changed my definition of BAD!" I have been her biggest defender and protector, I always had a reason in her defense of why she behaved a certain way. I tried to train her.....REALLY, I did. I used positive reinforcement and even a little negative reinforcement (this is a no judgement zone). Nothing seems to work long term. All in all she is a sweet dog, very lovable and has the cutest face (I'm still defending her).

However, yesterday things took a turn for bad. While I was trying to control her when a neighboring dog came down our street, she bit me!

OH NO SHE DIDN'T! *insert head roll and finger point with the lips curled*

Every time I reached for her collar she would growl & bite, I had such a struggle with her but was finally able to get her into her crate. I have to admit I was actually a little afraid and my feelings were really hurt. (as were my arms and fingers). I made a report to my husband reluctantly and in shock, his thoughts on the situation? Yeah, you know it....SHE'S GONE!

Bottom line, at the end of the day, no matter how much love there is for a pet there should be NO FEAR OF THE PET. Lesson learned for Isabelle? "never bite the hand that feeds you"

Welcome to “OH NO HE DIDN’T” TUESDAY, a super awesome blog carnival created by Kristi at Live and Love…Out Loud. Click on over to her blog to find out what made her and everyone else stop and say “OH NO HE DIDN’T!”