Consequences, rewards and getting it done.

This is what I WAS going to post a couple of weeks ago :

" I decided I'm going on strike. Yep I am proposing a strike on cleaning. Well , sort of. *sigh* I'm not going to completely give up and let it go but i just feel the need to rebel in some way. I mean if everyone else in the house can take a firm stand against cleanliness and order, then why can't I ?

I'm just saying, if the MISTER & the kids can take off their shoes in the kitchen, leave the laundry unfolded in the living room, forget to wipe the toothpaste off the sink then..."

However, after having a very enlightening conversation with a fellow hard working, multi-tasking, still keeping it flly mama, I decided to make some adjustments in my attitude and save my sanity.

How? Well just by giving out a true dose of reality, and a little tough love, with the kiddies at least. The hubby? Thats a whole other situation! CLICK HERE to see what I mean.

I am on a hectic schedule, and as the family grows so does the mess. I was trying to do my part but also found myself doing THEIRS or nothing at all. The house and I was suffering. Anyway, I realized that all i needed to do was set out the plan and expectation along with consequences and rewards, then let them do the rest. Setting up a schedule and creating lists is not a new concept to me. In fact I was raised with notes and schedules attached to the fridge. I have written them out myself over the years. However, writing them down and distribution means nothing if not taken seriously. So, I.GOT.SERIOUS. !

Consequences are in full effect, and because I'm such a loving mom :) I also gave rewards and a point system. What I am asking of them is being accomplished and not blown off. Now of course, they had to TRY A SISTA but I commenced to regulating and they got the point. "Homie don't play 'dat!"

Yeah, all is well in the Hicks family again, more importantly it's cleaner.

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May I please? - giving and understanding permission at the Brownie Monologues

You ever have those nights with your girlfriends or even by yourself where the order of the night is a big pan of brownies and some seriously insightful conversation? And as the night progresses the discussion and the brownies get better with every.single.bite, and you walk away feeling ever so full, nurtured and satisfied?

Well that is what the Brownie Monologues were all about. Well, sort of...it WAS all that I mentioned except there was some testosterone in the building. Whaaaat?Yeah, I brought a MAN. I brought my honey with me because I was trying to kill two birds with one stone. You know... have a little date night too. **giggle giggle, at least HE was enlightened*

Anyway, as the night progressed and each woman shared her challenges and how or why she wanted to change something in her life I found a little bit of myself in her too. It made me so very aware, yet again that my challenges are not completely unique. As women (and some men), we each share a similar story within our own individual stories. The stories told, ranged from self image to maternal imagery and reflection, people pleasing & guilt to entrepreneurship and more. Not only were these discussed but some resolves & solutions were exchanged. I loved it! They were shining their light and I was reflecting it.

One thought organically became the theme for the evening. Giving ourselves permission. I thought that to be powerful. Because, sometimes I didn't realize how much pressure it relieves me in my everyday living and beyond when I gave myself permission to say yes or say no or to let go to something or someone. And as many of us in the room realized, there is so much more happiness and joy within our mind, body and spirit when we give permission. For me it is not permission to bounce wherever with whoever without regard or focus. But permission with balance, clarity, love & intent.

This was the inaugural Brownie Monologues and so they promised there will be more. Even better, they encouraged us to continue, if we have not already been doing so, to create our own Monologues. It's good for the soul, it can only mean a better YOU, a better ME. So now we have PERMISSION ....where are the brownies?

My fashion is ALWAYS a work in progress

I'll admit it to you, I've never been blessed with the gift of having a totally dope styling sense. 90% of the time I am in heavy analysis over what to wear before going out for a social or professional event. I'm not horrible at putting together an outfit I mean, I can "pass". I think that I got this issue from my momma (hehe, everything always goes back to momma), maybe it was because she never encouraged me to develop my own fashion sense as a child. I rarely had creative control over my own wardrobe until I was 12 years old. *sigh* I fought hard for my styling Independence and finally won it at the age of 13 and it's been a roller coaster ride ever since.

In the last 12 years with the birthing of two children, being a stay at home mom and then an entrepreneur in the wellness industry, I have fallen into some fashion traps. Due to work with clients, clinic hours at school, or running around with kids my outfit consists of black yoga pants, black t-shirts and sneakers. WTH? So boring ! It's okay when I HAVE to wear it but the problem comes in when I DON'T have to. What is even worse is that I have TWO friends who are FIERCE with their style and do styling for a living. I really have no excuse right?

Someone else that is awesome at styling for a living is VirtuousOne. She and the Execumamma will be blogging live on Saturday morning ALL ABOUT STYLE ! They are gonna be sharing all types of delicious tips I'm so sure. Giving advice on topics such as emotional shopping to Hootchie Mamma dressing...mmmhmmm !. I'm going to be at school getting my clinic hours and can't participate...boooooo! But please believe I will be checking in on twitter, following hastag #BlogLive5 as soon as I get a break, this Sistar has got's ta do betta!

A family's determination to get a book in a child's hands

As a lover of reading I cannot remember a time in my life when reading was not apart of it. My weekly trips to the local library with my mother as a child left huge imprints on me. It was there with her that I was able to see a whole new world outside of my own. Right there within those four walls and the reach of my fingertips I could read about anybody, anytime, and anyplace. In my home it was never unusual to see my mother with a book in her face, and whenever I had the nerve to say I was bored she would quickly tell me "go read a book, as long as you have books you wont be bored."

Mommy said it and she was right.

Although I was fortunate to have the joy of reading influenced by my mother, that is not always the case for many children. Particularly African American children or other children of color. So I was really delighted to know that New York Times best selling author Denene Millner and her husband Nick Chiles are co-founders of and launching North Paran, A site that promotes books for, by and about black people. I love to read all types of books from all types of authors, but as a black woman myself I also enjoy reading books about people like me. And it is especially important for me to have books that are relatable to my own children. North Paran has books to cover all interests for adults and children...they even have a bargain book section (love it!). Even better, for every book that is purchased they will donate a book to a needy child. This is wonderful, a great way to give back to the community. For the child whose mother or father cannot or does not take them to the library, read to them or just can't afford it there is still an opportunity for them to develop their reading skills. I plan on showing my support and I hope you do to.

*Click here to see the brief video of Denene, Nick and the kids discuss North Paran.Then go check out the site for yourself!