Often times as a woman of color, when surfing the web or reading blogs I come across topics that are thought provoking and heart stirring. Although well written it is not always written from the view of women like me. Although women in general share a certain commonality, one cannot deny the differences, viewpoints and oppinions shared by the various groups of women.
As an african american woman I face challenges in marriage, parenting, & education among others that are not the same as all of my professional or personal peers. Which is why I am happy to know that there is a new blogsite being launched today which focuses on the issues that matter the most to me. Discussed in a way that is most familiar to me. www.momsofhue.com
Moms of Hue is a collaborated site created by Renee J. Ross of www.cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com and Kristina of www.momontherise.com . These ladies are mothers, wives and entrepreneurs using their voices and skills to make a difference for all women of color. Please stop by the new site today, as today is it's official launch. Follow them on twitter @momsofhue and get invovled with their twitter party to celebrate their offical site launch. Prizes will be given away, so come on and join in the fun!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Is that for me?
Any time I receive a gift I am always touched and warmed at the heart. So very pleased that the giver thought enough of me to provide it. Just about any gift is a cause for gratitude because it's the thought that counts right? Right. Well, except for that one time when I received...Oh, never mind! Like I said, I'm grateful no matter what.
As much as I enjoy being a receiver, I also like to be the giver of gifts. There is 100% truth in the memorable phrase "more happness in giving than receiving." I especially find joy in watching a person's facial expression as they are viewing their gift for the first time. Priceless.
It is my oppinion however, that the best gifts are the hand made or ones that have a personal touch. While in recovery I have been given several gifts. Each one meaningful in it's own way. Friends and family have given me homemade soups, made a pan of my favorite dish, babysitting, even some house cleaning. SO cool, I know.
But the one gift that goes to the top of my list is my B.G. Goody bag. aka the broke girlfriends goody bag. Hilariously sweet and good hearted. My bf came over and brought this to me. Obviously it is easy on the purse. But it was the personal touch and thoughtfulness that shot it to the top of my list. My B.G. Goody bag was full of things that I love. DVD's for me to watch, taken from her personal collection. All the great ones that I love. Two great novels, along with a variety of herbal teas and a new journal for my writing pleasure. She had to put some thought into what I liked in order to create a gift with such a personal touch. It meant so much to me. Simple yet personal, Hmmmmm... warm fuzzies.
The next time you have the privelege of bringing someone a gift, make it personal. Give it your special touch, it makes the biggest impression.
Here are a few tips:
* type or write a poem of your own or from a favorite poet. Apply it to nice paper and put it in a frame.
* Create your own bottle of body oil and spritzer complete with a personalized label.
* find websites that specialize in personal gifts, such as www.personalcreations.com or www.lillianvernon.com
*have fun, use your imagination.
As much as I enjoy being a receiver, I also like to be the giver of gifts. There is 100% truth in the memorable phrase "more happness in giving than receiving." I especially find joy in watching a person's facial expression as they are viewing their gift for the first time. Priceless.
It is my oppinion however, that the best gifts are the hand made or ones that have a personal touch. While in recovery I have been given several gifts. Each one meaningful in it's own way. Friends and family have given me homemade soups, made a pan of my favorite dish, babysitting, even some house cleaning. SO cool, I know.
But the one gift that goes to the top of my list is my B.G. Goody bag. aka the broke girlfriends goody bag. Hilariously sweet and good hearted. My bf came over and brought this to me. Obviously it is easy on the purse. But it was the personal touch and thoughtfulness that shot it to the top of my list. My B.G. Goody bag was full of things that I love. DVD's for me to watch, taken from her personal collection. All the great ones that I love. Two great novels, along with a variety of herbal teas and a new journal for my writing pleasure. She had to put some thought into what I liked in order to create a gift with such a personal touch. It meant so much to me. Simple yet personal, Hmmmmm... warm fuzzies.
The next time you have the privelege of bringing someone a gift, make it personal. Give it your special touch, it makes the biggest impression.
Here are a few tips:
* type or write a poem of your own or from a favorite poet. Apply it to nice paper and put it in a frame.
* Create your own bottle of body oil and spritzer complete with a personalized label.
* find websites that specialize in personal gifts, such as www.personalcreations.com or www.lillianvernon.com
*have fun, use your imagination.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Just what the Doctor ordered
The Doctor gave strict orders as I was discharged from the hospital. No lifting, no pushing or pulling of any objects. Complete bedrest for about 2-3 weeks. How's that been going? Well, here's what I've been dealing with for the past 7 days.
In the a.m. my son brews my coffee just the way I like, while my daughter places frozen waffles in the toaster and cooks my bacon not too crispy. My Hubby comes home from work in the p.m., does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, puts dinner on and brings it to my bedside with a smile and a kiss. "Do you need anything else?" Once I have completed our homeschooling lessons for the day, my only care is: which of my favorite movies do I want to watch? Catching up on t.v. reruns, reading great books & journaling. At the end of the night my sheets get retucked, pillows are fluffed and comforter is smoothed out.
Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm!!
A sistah can get used to this. I wonder if I can get a Doctor's note for an extension on my recovery time? This is like the best staycation I ever had! Too bad I had to lose a body organ to experience it.
Just sayin'
In the a.m. my son brews my coffee just the way I like, while my daughter places frozen waffles in the toaster and cooks my bacon not too crispy. My Hubby comes home from work in the p.m., does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, puts dinner on and brings it to my bedside with a smile and a kiss. "Do you need anything else?" Once I have completed our homeschooling lessons for the day, my only care is: which of my favorite movies do I want to watch? Catching up on t.v. reruns, reading great books & journaling. At the end of the night my sheets get retucked, pillows are fluffed and comforter is smoothed out.
Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm!!
A sistah can get used to this. I wonder if I can get a Doctor's note for an extension on my recovery time? This is like the best staycation I ever had! Too bad I had to lose a body organ to experience it.
Just sayin'
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Honey, you're fired!
He says that he can do it all by himself, he no longer needs my assistance. After years of watching me, he is ready to experience it for his self. No I'm not talking about my son. He is not the one cutting the apron strings. The culprit in this case is my husband. For the 16 years that we have been married I have always been the accountant of our establishment. Using various budget systems & a little juggling to cover the bases. I cant say that I was perfect, but I did my job.
So imagine my shock when he approached me with his new idea. He might as well have handed me a pink slip, because I 'sho felt like I was fired! After I was done pouting, he assured me that the changes aren't "personal"...*insert eye roll*. He said it was apart of his growth and maturity as a man. Wow.
I continued to dwell on the heartfelt words he spoke to me & concluded that this may not be such a bad idea after all. I've heard the phrase "how you view a situation is how you react to it. " Perhaps I had a blurred view of the situation. I realized that in my own way I linked my responsibility of the finances with control. It's no wonder then, why I felt dethroned as he is reaching for greater responsibility. I began to view this new change in a positive light. Realizing that it could be a good thing.
I reminded myself that marraige is a partnership and no one should be in control of the other and certainly no one should be a servant. Good marraiges blossom under communication, cooperation and encouragement. There should be a balance.
Women (myself included) are often heard complaining about the irresponsibility in men. Wishing that a man would be a "real man". However, in some cases is it possible that today's modern women are actually preventing this ? For years, fighting for equal rights. Proving more and more that she can do the same jobs as he, and even better. I feel that this causes some men to sit back, leaving them unsure of how to fullfill their roles. Not wanting to appear non-progressive. Women want men to be men traditionally, but often try to controll the areas that they can do it.
Now I am aware that this not the case in every situation. Realisticly there are many women playing dual roles because they have to. So when a man who can and is willing to carry a heavier load gets involved , the woman continue to tightly hold the reigns. Because it may feel almost unnatural. This is the category that I find myself in. I come from a family, who for generations have been held together by women due to a lack of positive male headship. I've always seen women in charge, even in the presence of a man. These were unspoken lessons being taught, indeed.
As I reflect on the past I do not want to continue on in the pattern of the women before me. Carrying an unbalanced load, doing it all. As long as I have some one willing to share more of the responsibility I certainly don't need to block it. Marraige is about trust, not only in monagomy but also in money.
I've lived the first 16 years of my marraige with some control issues. For the next 16 I plan on letting them go. I'll admit there will be some bumpy roads ahead, but I'm looking forward to a great learning experience. I am offering up prayers as I type this...
So imagine my shock when he approached me with his new idea. He might as well have handed me a pink slip, because I 'sho felt like I was fired! After I was done pouting, he assured me that the changes aren't "personal"...*insert eye roll*. He said it was apart of his growth and maturity as a man. Wow.
I continued to dwell on the heartfelt words he spoke to me & concluded that this may not be such a bad idea after all. I've heard the phrase "how you view a situation is how you react to it. " Perhaps I had a blurred view of the situation. I realized that in my own way I linked my responsibility of the finances with control. It's no wonder then, why I felt dethroned as he is reaching for greater responsibility. I began to view this new change in a positive light. Realizing that it could be a good thing.
I reminded myself that marraige is a partnership and no one should be in control of the other and certainly no one should be a servant. Good marraiges blossom under communication, cooperation and encouragement. There should be a balance.
Women (myself included) are often heard complaining about the irresponsibility in men. Wishing that a man would be a "real man". However, in some cases is it possible that today's modern women are actually preventing this ? For years, fighting for equal rights. Proving more and more that she can do the same jobs as he, and even better. I feel that this causes some men to sit back, leaving them unsure of how to fullfill their roles. Not wanting to appear non-progressive. Women want men to be men traditionally, but often try to controll the areas that they can do it.
Now I am aware that this not the case in every situation. Realisticly there are many women playing dual roles because they have to. So when a man who can and is willing to carry a heavier load gets involved , the woman continue to tightly hold the reigns. Because it may feel almost unnatural. This is the category that I find myself in. I come from a family, who for generations have been held together by women due to a lack of positive male headship. I've always seen women in charge, even in the presence of a man. These were unspoken lessons being taught, indeed.
As I reflect on the past I do not want to continue on in the pattern of the women before me. Carrying an unbalanced load, doing it all. As long as I have some one willing to share more of the responsibility I certainly don't need to block it. Marraige is about trust, not only in monagomy but also in money.
I've lived the first 16 years of my marraige with some control issues. For the next 16 I plan on letting them go. I'll admit there will be some bumpy roads ahead, but I'm looking forward to a great learning experience. I am offering up prayers as I type this...
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